Back in my days, the VMAs were the most exciting award show to watch. They brought all walks of life from every industry into one place, and it brought out the best. Remember when homeboy from Rage Against the Machine stormed the stage? Or when Lil’ Mama was feeling "Empire State of Mind" a little too much and decided she should join Jay Z and Alicia Keys on stage? Yeah, those days are gone. Now we’re stuck with YouTube celebs and mediocre pop stars. 

The show opened with Cardi B dressed like Hollywood star pretending to show off her baby Kulture, but she just showed us the new moonman….wow! Groundbreaking. 

The first award of the night went to Nicki Minaj, and she’s been having beefing with everyone from Cardi B to Kylie Jenner’s baby, Stormi (I KID YOU NOT). We thought the show was going to turn into the Source Awards from the 90’s, but instead, it was just fluff. 

Nicki pre-recorded her performance at the World Trade Center and did two singles off her new album, Queen. This tweet sums up my thoughts: 

Ariana Grande performed a beautiful set to her new single “God Is A Woman” and brought out her grandma, mother, and aunt. Although she can pretend “God Is A Woman” is a feminist anthem all she wants but we all know it’s about getting dicked down. It just feels slightly inappropriate to bring your lineage on stage to a song with that meaning. 

Speaking of Ponytail, the cameramen could not stop showing off her and Pete Davidson. That’s how boring pop culture has gotten that THAT was our prime entertainment. 

Jennifer Lopez received the Michael Jackson Video Vanguard Award, and she performed a medley of some of her hits and a lot of songs I never heard before. Of course, J. Lo brought the house down with her dancing, showing the youngins how it's done, and she even brought out Ja Rule. ARod showed his support and made everyone on Twitter want a bae that’s proud of them. 

Ever since MTV announced they were going to pay tribute to Aretha Franklin, everyone was wondering exactly HOW were they going to go about it. Madonna showed up looking like she just went through the gift shop in Namibia. (none of her black babies told her that was not a good look?) She went on and on about how she was this broke girl from Detroit trying to make a living as a dancer and somehow, she got lucky and became Madonna. Yes, that’s how she paid tribute to Aretha Franklin. A coming of age story about—MADONNA! Brought to you by A24 films. I guess she’s still bitter that the Queen of Soul overshadowed her 60th birthday. 

Overall, like the last decade of VMAs, they were not memorable and if anything, really showed how I’m aging and losing touch to the youth and their pop culture.