Pete Davidson Is Actually Serving ADE

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Now that Pete Davidson and Ariana Grande’s whirlwind of a relationship is over, the truth is finally coming to light.

During their intense, overexposed, short courtship, Ariana Grande exposed that Pete’s package needed special shipping labels. Based on this information being revealed, the internet went crazy with it and coined the term Big Dick Energy. But now, Pete is saying that’s not true.

After months of us believing he’s hanging low, Pete confessed in a recent stand-up he’s pretty average.

“I don’t like that she talked all that s— for my penis,” the Saturday Night Live star remarked during his stand-up performance.

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“Everything is huge to her,” he continued. “Why would she tell everyone that I have a huge penis? So that every girl who sees my d— for the rest of my life is disappointed.”

I did crackle at the comment “everything is huge to her” because Ponytail is only about 90 lbs so probably what is average to everyone else, is gigantic to her. And Pete, don’t worry, you’re a typical guy, you’re going to disappoint women no matter what.

Do we now consider it Average Dick Energy now that we’ve been lied to?