A Look Back At the Week That Was

Phew! I am still exhausted from the non-stop week I had.

On Tuesday, after months of planning, CMSD and Channel 3 joined forces and kicked off our Untitled Black History Month project with the Digital Arts High School. To jump start the program, we chartered the students around Cleveland to prominent historical landmarks, including Garret A. Morgan Water Works, Karamu House, St. John’s Episcopal Church, etc. One interesting fact I learned during the tour, it took slaves an entire year to walk from the south to Ohio/St. John’s Episcopal Church. What an incredible and brave of them to endure to freedom.

Students standing in front of the Jesse Owens statue 

The next few days were spent at the Council of Great City Schools where the largest urban school districts in the country come to together and share how to improve and enrich our scholars’ education. It was my second time attending but equally informative. This year, Cleveland hosted the conference. I have to say, CMSD and Cleveland did a fantastic job as hosts and really set the bar for next year’s hosts Baltimore.

We also had incredible speakers during the conference aside from our peers. Bill Gates opened the conference and in a big way by announcing he would donate 1.7 billion dollars to charter schools.

Rosario Dawson shared her journey as a daughter of a teen mom, growing up poor in the Lower East Side in Manhattan and how her mom advocated for her to have the best education. With her current platform she pays it forward by her involvement in Lower East Side Girls Club. 

Van Jones closed the conference with an incredible speech on how we need to balance the left and right to have a working and powerful future. He also moderated our forum on equity in education with superintendents including CMSD’s Eric Gordon, and CMSD’s students and parents.

I skipped one of the conference dinner to attend the Milly fashion show at Saks. 

Saturday night, we had our farewell celebration at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame museum, where the entire museum was open for the attendees to explore. Although I just visited the museum a few weeks ago, I was finally able to take in their Power of Rock Experience, a 15 minute video of some of the highlighted performances throughout the years of the Rock Hall’s induction ceremony in a surround sound theater. It was incredible and I recommend anyone to check it out if you’re in the area (as well as their Rolling Stone magazine anniversary exhibit).

I closed off the weekend and week by attending the first show of the Broadway Series at Playhouse Square, Waitress. I wasn’t sure I would enjoy the musical when it was announced earlier this year during preview week, but I will say it’s one of the best musicals I have ever seen. As a proud Ice Princess, I wept at the end. It really made my cold heart melt for a few minutes. You know it’s good when it’s capable of doing that.

Overall, I had an eventful week. I wish I could say this week will be mellow but that's simply not the case. I'm heading back home to New York City for a few days this week. I cannot wait to go back to the city that never sleeps! 

Harvey Weinstein’s Harassments Re-Opened My Own Wounds

Last week, The New York Times reported the articles “Harvey Weinstein Paid Off Sexual Harassment Accusers for Decades,” where they exposed a major Hollywood producer of asserting himself sexually on several employees, models and actresses including Ashley Judd, and Rose McGowan. Since the article was released and went viral, many A list actresses have come forward addressing their own accounts. While reading many of the victims’ stories I noticed a familiar theme, many of them were either threatened to not say anything or were too scared to say anything of what they had experienced. This reopened my own wounds of my experience with sexual assault, where I didn’t feel comfortable coming forward, and was threatened to not speak on it. My experience is just one of many; Whether it was a famous Academy Award winner or an average everyday person you’ve known from school, a family member, or even yourself, who was too scared to say something about their own assault. When will it we come to a point where that is no longer the case?

I’m not a celebrity nor was the person who raped me a powerful man in Hollywood. However, I was shamed for what I experienced. Whether it’s because of ingrained double standards I’ve come too familiar with, or law enforcement didn’t think it was severe enough to handle. My first experience was at 21. It was any normal night out with my girlfriends in college at a local lounge we frequented. My attacker was the lounge’s bartender that I had grown to have a crush on. After a night of dancing and drinking, the evening became hazier as the night went on. The next morning I woke up, with my clothes off in the student lounge area in a dorm building I didn’t live in. Not completely sure of my surroundings, I didn’t know what exactly went down the night before but I was aware that I more than likely had sex. Retracing my tracks, I did find out from a friend that I went home with the bartender and she thought I was safe. I played it off that I was completely okay but the truth was I didn’t know what happened at all. Embarrassed with the fact of what went down, I became angry that I could allow myself to drink so much to get to the point of not knowing what I was doing, but the truth of the matter was, I was roofied. It had also been my first sexual “experience” ever. I had buried that entire experience from my memory shortly after. I also was too embarrassed to act on the situation.

Two years later, after an exhausting walk to the town over to a drug store. I called an ex boyfriend for a ride back to campus. He agreed and we had a nice conversation catching up about what we were doing that summer. By the time we reached my house, he believed that he was entitled to have sex with me for the favor of a ride home. I refused. He kept pushing and I repeatedly stated no. He forced himself onto me and pinned me down so strongly that it was hard for me to fight back. After a few moments and weak attempts to escape, I gave up. Someone I once trusted, was no longer someone I could trust. I felt disgusted, hurt and defeated. After he finished, he said “It wasn’t that bad after all.” I was livid. I was angry.

I just wanted to use a sad pug pic 

Shortly after this happened, I disclosed what happened to a close friend, he encouraged me to report him to our local police. I decided to do so with his help. I confessed my story to two male police officers and this was their responses:

“It wasn’t in a dark alley.”

“It could be seen as consensual as you two had dated previously. You’re just trying to get back at him.”

“Do you really want to ruin his entire life?”

“If you go through with this, you’ll have to experience the situation all over again, it’s not fun.”

No, it wasn’t in a dark alley. Yes, we had dated previously but they didn’t know our relationship history. I didn’t have any hard feelings towards him. Was my life and what I had just experienced not as important as his entire life? Because no matter what, I will always have to remember that entire ordeal.

I felt defeated. I cried in the room I told the police officers because I didn’t know what else to do. I decided to not press charges and once again suppressed my feelings.

Society has made it known that rape is bad, but only a certain type of rape. The victim is always questioned more than the abuser. What was she wearing? Why would she be alone with him if she didn’t want to sleep with him? If she doesn’t come forward as quickly as society believes she should, why did she wait so long? What is she getting out of this? Many of the same questions I saw come across my social media timeline when victims came out to accuse not only Harvey Weinstein but also Bill Cosby, and Stanford student Brock Turner.

Until society changes the way we view rape culture, men will continue to assault women and feel they are entitled to their bodies. A conversation is needed where we stop saying “Boys will be boys” and stop questioning women when they speak out on their experiences. We need to hold men accountable for the way they treat women, whether it's street harassment, sexual harassment in the work place or elsewhere, or sexual assault. 

It has taken me years to be able to open up about my experiences. I will never forget reading Audre Lorde’s Sisters Outsider and I came across the line “I feel, therefore I can be free.” And I broke down and cried. Basically until I understand everything I experience and actually go through those emotions, I can be free of everything I’m holding in. However, no matter what, I will never be the same. Those experiences will always be a part of who I am. And the same goes for every victim that has ever experienced any form of sexual assault.

If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted, please seek help by calling the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800-656-HOPE (4673). For more resources on sexual assault, visit RAINN the National Sexual Violence Resource Center.

#SummerofBrittny | August

It's officially fall but I haven't concluded #SummerofBrittny. This has been the first time I'm truly heartbroken that the seasons are changing because it ones of the best summers of my life. It was a summer of endless adventures, meeting new friends, creating memories with friends and family-- most of which I will never forget. 

Here's the last run down of #SummerofBrittny 

I went to the Bachelor audition that were held in Cleveland. My boss is a super fan and convinced me to try out. I personally believe I would have been an amazing addition to the show but during the audition, the producer I had my interview with was such a dull and that turned my energy down which probably made the casting directors believe I wasn't a great fit. Too bad, they missed out on a great gem. I mean, I just had dongs all over the world! How many contestants can say that? 

I totally lied about my weight. There was no way they were going to get the real digits for that. 

I finally tried the famous Sokolowski for the first time since I've moved here. It was AH MAZE ZING, but I needed to be rolled out of the restaurant because I was so stuffed. 

Attended a Tribe game against the Yanks. I of course rooted for MY home team, the New York Yankees and wore my Aaron Judge jersey. Although the Yankees lost the first game of the series, I had an amazing time with my friend Sarah. 

I launched this wonderful place, Pierre into My Life that has done incredibly well and brought so much joy into my life. I never thought so many people would enjoy this little safe space where I could write my thoughts, but I am thankful for those riding with me on this journey. 

Danced and sang my little heart out at the Coldplay concert with my friend Joseph. My first time seeing them live and they have easily become a top 5 best show I have ever seen. Joseph and his brother, John, came from Columbus to have a weekend with me. #Blessed. 

I stumbled upon Green Day having an altercation with a Browns fan on my way home. I walked into it shortly after it all started and I had headphones on so I missed what created the issues. All I know is the Browns fan told Green Day to get out of his city. What has Green Day ever done to Cleveland? 

Attended She in the CLE's 2nd Anniversary and met other amazing Cleveland bloggers at the shindig. (My Jay Z piece was published on She in the CLE this month as well.) It was such a nice mixer to help celebrate an amazing platform for women. From left to right, me, Kate of Greatest Escapist, Brittney of According to Brittney, and Katie of Soul Connect Tribe. 

I also lost 15 lbs this summer. Finally shedding some of the Midwest weight I've gained since moving out here. I was super proud of myself for the pounds I have lost and now I'm trying to gain a little more muscle for the winter. 

Welp, it's time to say goodbye to the eventful #SummerofBrittny. Pour one out for the end of a great summer. 

#NoSausageLeftBehind

When I told my friends that not only would I spent two weeks in Europe but also as #SingleBrittny, all of them rejoiced. My one friend, Jack, even found the SNL skit "Dongs All Over the World" and declared it as my official vacation anthem. As I touched down in Prague, I re-opened my Tinder account (I have such a love-hate relationship with that app) and started exploring my options. However, after a few swipes, I encountered THIS in Prague. I just couldn't do it and never opened the app again during my stay.

Fast forward to Vienna and Budapest, I legit embodied the lyrics, "I'm a modern day Columbus and I claim this dong for me." I felt like a kid in a candy store with countless amounts of options. I knew it would be a success because the first song I heard when I arrived to Vienna was Britney Spears' "Hot As Ice." 

By the end of my stay in Vienna and the last leg of my trip in Budapest, I was getting countless date offers on Tinder and in person. I ended up going on three dates in a row. I could have gone for four but I was mentally exhausted from men (don't you hate when they do that?).

Let's break down each man/date: 

The Austrian Novelist

First off his Tinder was very mysterious, so obviously I swiped right because I'm the kind of person who is too impatient while reading a novel and cut to the end to see what happens. Even though we connected on Tinder, he had originally said he was unable to meet with me due to personal plans. But Saturday morning I got a message from him that stated: "What are the chances of meeting an attractive writer? I can't pass up that opportunity." *Heart eyes emoji.* So we set up a date.

I'm not into blondes, however the Novelist was a very tall and handsome and I was into it. We met at a really cute bar near to where I was staying. Automatically he received cool points for not judging me for ordering like a 7 year old, after several hours of not eating from my day trip to Salzburg. He introduced me to delicious Austrian red wine, we bonded over being writers and the constant struggle of being creative, and other random things ones discuss on a first date. He explained to me a clinic in Switzerland named Dignitas, where people pay to commit suicide. I was intrigued but confused as to why anyone would willingly pay to commit suicide when you can do it for free. Aside from the melancholy topic, we had great conversations and even hotter make out session in the rain after we shut down the bar. Afterwards, I was totally in lust over the Novelist but the next morning I was off to Budapest which meant on to the next one. 

The Italian Lover

Oh how I adored the Italian. He was such an interesting character to hang out with for a few hours. Before we met, he immediately bombarded me with basketball knowledge after I told him I live in Cleveland and he told me I live in Lebronland (which is basically true). He was a huge fan of hip-hop and expressed how much he wanted to visit places in America where hip-hop is known for, especially Compton. I have never heard anyone say the one place they want to visit in America would be....COMPTON. We met for dinner at an Italian restaurant where I chowed down on bolognese and sipped on multiple glasses of Hungarian wine (I drank a lot of wine in Europe. I'm surprised they're not low on stock in Eastern Europe). We had a great discussion on the many differences between America and Europe like "why do we call a bill, a check?" and "why do you call salami pepperoni?" (fun fact, pepperoni in Italy is simply just peppers) I of course didn't have the answers for any of these questions.

Since I knew the Italian loved hip-hop, I had to ask who were his top 5 favorite rappers. His answer: 1. Tupac, 2. 50 Cent, 3. Nelly, 4. Chingy and I can't remember the fifth because I was still stuck on the fact he had Nelly and Chingy on his top 5 list. I forgave him for his odd list because he was so handsome. However I did have to mention before the night was over that I have never met anyone who had Nelly or Chingy in their top 5 which he found alarming. Is Nelly and Chingy a huge deal in Europe and we have no clue about it?   

Southern (Not So) Charming

How I ended up meeting another American on my "Dongs All Over the World" is beyond me and actually I'm quite mad at myself. I can get an American any time I want, and a southern one at that. But we both wanted to check out Hungarian food and drinks together which made me accept the offer. That being said, he doesn't rank high like all the European men I had met prior to him. He wasn't that much interesting, our conversations were kind of dull and I was reaching to find interesting topics to discuss to the point that my brain went on low fuel. He picked a restaurant called "Getto Giulyas," which at first I low key felt offended he wanted to take me to a place called "getto," but it had great reviews on Google. To both of our surprises it was a romantic wine restaurant, which would have been perfect with anyone BUT him. We both ordered a beef stew and tried duck liver for the first time, both were amazing. Then later that night I tried a Hungarian must, a shot of Palinka which is an awful liquor that all Hungarians know is bad but are very proud of. They say you haven't had an Hungarian experience until you've had the shot. Well... I took the shot and was chasing coke cola for the rest of the night to get rid of the after taste. Even with the strong shot didn't make him more enjoyable.  I had way more fun afterwards being drunk on Facebook live with my favorites in the Dome. 

Then I returned back to America and realized that my love/hate relationship with Tinder really is just the quality of men on there. European men were so much more chivalrous, respectful, upfront of what they wanted, and had worldly experiences and knowledge. It was just a nice change compared to what I've experience with Tinder in Cleveland. But it was nice to date elsewhere and feel really good about myself for a few days. 

#SummerofBrittny | July Roundup

In June's roundup I explained how and why I decided to declare this summer as the #SummeofBrittny. Here are some of my favorite moments throughout the month of July! 

Bienvenidos a Miami

After weeks of just Netflix and Chill at the end of June, I decided on a whim to visit my friend Natalia in Miami for the forth of July weekend and it was the best decision ever.

The food. The weather. The company! All worth it. 

Art Wonderland 

Natalia took me to Wynwood, the art district in Miami. Everywhere you looked was covered in beautiful artwork. 

Trap Karaoke 

"TRAP Karaoke is like going to church…but instead of 'Amazing Grace,' you’re singing ‘Back That Azz Up.'" - anonymous. There is no other way to describe the experience of Trap Karaoke. My girlfriends and I watched several Clevelanders get on stage and rap like they were 2 Chainz and we had the time of our lives. 

Girls Trip

You couldn't go through the month of July and not gather your girl squad to see the hilarious film Girl Trip. We laughed until we cried, we swooned over Malik, and cried over Ryan's keynote speech. Truly a special moment with your girlfriends.