Harvey Weinstein’s Harassments Re-Opened My Own Wounds
Last week, The New York Times reported the articles “Harvey Weinstein Paid Off Sexual Harassment Accusers for Decades,” where they exposed a major Hollywood producer of asserting himself sexually on several employees, models and actresses including Ashley Judd, and Rose McGowan. Since the article was released and went viral, many A list actresses have come forward addressing their own accounts. While reading many of the victims’ stories I noticed a familiar theme, many of them were either threatened to not say anything or were too scared to say anything of what they had experienced. This reopened my own wounds of my experience with sexual assault, where I didn’t feel comfortable coming forward, and was threatened to not speak on it. My experience is just one of many; Whether it was a famous Academy Award winner or an average everyday person you’ve known from school, a family member, or even yourself, who was too scared to say something about their own assault. When will it we come to a point where that is no longer the case?
I’m not a celebrity nor was the person who raped me a powerful man in Hollywood. However, I was shamed for what I experienced. Whether it’s because of ingrained double standards I’ve come too familiar with, or law enforcement didn’t think it was severe enough to handle. My first experience was at 21. It was any normal night out with my girlfriends in college at a local lounge we frequented. My attacker was the lounge’s bartender that I had grown to have a crush on. After a night of dancing and drinking, the evening became hazier as the night went on. The next morning I woke up, with my clothes off in the student lounge area in a dorm building I didn’t live in. Not completely sure of my surroundings, I didn’t know what exactly went down the night before but I was aware that I more than likely had sex. Retracing my tracks, I did find out from a friend that I went home with the bartender and she thought I was safe. I played it off that I was completely okay but the truth was I didn’t know what happened at all. Embarrassed with the fact of what went down, I became angry that I could allow myself to drink so much to get to the point of not knowing what I was doing, but the truth of the matter was, I was roofied. It had also been my first sexual “experience” ever. I had buried that entire experience from my memory shortly after. I also was too embarrassed to act on the situation.
Two years later, after an exhausting walk to the town over to a drug store. I called an ex boyfriend for a ride back to campus. He agreed and we had a nice conversation catching up about what we were doing that summer. By the time we reached my house, he believed that he was entitled to have sex with me for the favor of a ride home. I refused. He kept pushing and I repeatedly stated no. He forced himself onto me and pinned me down so strongly that it was hard for me to fight back. After a few moments and weak attempts to escape, I gave up. Someone I once trusted, was no longer someone I could trust. I felt disgusted, hurt and defeated. After he finished, he said “It wasn’t that bad after all.” I was livid. I was angry.
I just wanted to use a sad pug pic
Shortly after this happened, I disclosed what happened to a close friend, he encouraged me to report him to our local police. I decided to do so with his help. I confessed my story to two male police officers and this was their responses:
“It wasn’t in a dark alley.”
“It could be seen as consensual as you two had dated previously. You’re just trying to get back at him.”
“Do you really want to ruin his entire life?”
“If you go through with this, you’ll have to experience the situation all over again, it’s not fun.”
No, it wasn’t in a dark alley. Yes, we had dated previously but they didn’t know our relationship history. I didn’t have any hard feelings towards him. Was my life and what I had just experienced not as important as his entire life? Because no matter what, I will always have to remember that entire ordeal.
I felt defeated. I cried in the room I told the police officers because I didn’t know what else to do. I decided to not press charges and once again suppressed my feelings.
Society has made it known that rape is bad, but only a certain type of rape. The victim is always questioned more than the abuser. What was she wearing? Why would she be alone with him if she didn’t want to sleep with him? If she doesn’t come forward as quickly as society believes she should, why did she wait so long? What is she getting out of this? Many of the same questions I saw come across my social media timeline when victims came out to accuse not only Harvey Weinstein but also Bill Cosby, and Stanford student Brock Turner.
Until society changes the way we view rape culture, men will continue to assault women and feel they are entitled to their bodies. A conversation is needed where we stop saying “Boys will be boys” and stop questioning women when they speak out on their experiences. We need to hold men accountable for the way they treat women, whether it's street harassment, sexual harassment in the work place or elsewhere, or sexual assault.
It has taken me years to be able to open up about my experiences. I will never forget reading Audre Lorde’s Sisters Outsider and I came across the line “I feel, therefore I can be free.” And I broke down and cried. Basically until I understand everything I experience and actually go through those emotions, I can be free of everything I’m holding in. However, no matter what, I will never be the same. Those experiences will always be a part of who I am. And the same goes for every victim that has ever experienced any form of sexual assault.
If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted, please seek help by calling the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800-656-HOPE (4673). For more resources on sexual assault, visit RAINN the National Sexual Violence Resource Center.
Revisit Janet Jackson's The Velvet Rope 20 Years Later
The Velvet Rope is a metaphor for emotional boundaries as well as an allusion to the individual’s need to feel special. Behind the velvet rope, Janet unveiled her world to the listener. We hear her explore her sexuality, her willingness to experiment with BDSM and her struggle with depression, abuse and self-worth. Janet signed a $80 million contract with Virgin Records prior to the album release and attained the largest recording contract in history at that time. Yet with major success and achievement, Michael Jackson’s little sister still felt, as stated in the interlude Sad “there’s nothing more depressing than having everything and still feeling sad.” Janet used the album and theme to work through the personal demons she needed to overcome, which has become the template for artists to experiment with darker sounds. Though the album was a moment for Janet to heal personally, she used her platform to speak on LGBT community, domestic violence and depression; which was groundbreaking to hear in a pop album in the 90’s. It's time to revisit The Velvet Rope 20 years later.
After suffering from an emotional breakdown at the end of the janet. World Tour, Janet decided to face the struggles she buried for years through her music and making it the concept of the album. Working with her dream team, producers Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis, the three created a version of Miss Jackson we had not seen or heard before. In Control, we heard her embrace self-empowerment. Rhythm Nation was on social consciousness through race, class and violence and janet. helped her open with her sex appeal. The Velvet Rope is a mature record that shows the many sides of the superstar as she works through understanding the person she has become. The composition fuses various genres, including pop, R&B, trip hop, folk, jazz, rock, funk and house. What would normally sound like a cluster fuck on most albums with an array of many genres, Jam and Lewis were able to magically blend all the sounds into the perfect package of Janet’s current state of mind.
The album debuted at the top spot of the Billboard 200 charts, selling 202,000 copies its first week and by 1998 the album sold 1.6 million copies. Its first single “Got Till It's Gone” peaked at number 36 on the Hot 100, featuring A Tribe Called Quest’s Q-Tip, where the two brought a chill trip-hop vibe over a Joni Mitchell sample of “Big Yellow Taxi”. The visual for the single is one of Jackson’s best, as it captures and celebrates the music, style, and culture in South Africa. Janet, who is effortlessly cool, also rocks bold red hair in bantu knots. This would make #teamnatural/Shea Butter Twitter retweet constantly with the caption “YAS QUEEN” if the video were released today. Even the filter and aesthetics of the video would make every Tumblr and Instagram user wish they had created the style before the video. The video would go on to win a Grammy Award for Best Short Form Music Video.
The second single was by far Janet’s most successful during the era, “Together Again” which was inspired by her friend who she lost to AIDS. The neo-disco track was inspired by Donna Summer’s “Last Dance”, it reached #1 on the Hot 100 and spent 46 weeks on the charts. It's among one of the biggest selling global singles, selling 6 million copies worldwide. The final single and one of Janet’s sexiest tunes in her discography, “I Get Lonely,” that gives listeners a familiar sound of the sultry pop-R&B which Jackson has been known for. “I Get Lonely” received positive reviews and became Jackson’s eighteenth consecutive Top Ten hit on the Hot 100, becoming the first female artist to achieve that record. One of the most memorable scenes in the visuals for the single is when Janet and her dancers rip off their white button-down shirts to expose her lace black bra, continuing to dance and sing about struggles of loneliness. In the mainstream, Janet was one of the only black artists who wasn’t afraid to be sexy and push the boundaries of how much sex appeal she could show. It paved the way for artists like Rihanna, Nicki Minaj, and Beyoncé.
“What about the times you said no one would want me? / What about all the shit you have done to me?” Janet proclaims in a stern vocal rage in “What About,” a haunting rock mid-tempo tune about a tumultuous relationship fueled by cheating, emotional and physical abuse. Janet has dug deep with the multiple struggles she dealt with in her first marriage to James DeBrage. They married when she was 16 and expressed he was demeaning and dealt with a drug problem at the time of their short relationship. Later on in the album, Janet speaks to herself in “Special” explaining it was time to reflect on every obstacle she has occurred. Even though it’s painful, she found we must overcome it and discover ways to find love within. Throughout the song, she seeks the need to feel special; which is a juxtaposition for a person who is made to feel special with multiple award shows, made up and adoring fans. Sometimes that just isn't enough. The very last words of the song are “work in progress”—she’s still hasn’t reached her full potential of conquering her pain and finding true happiness.
“He was on the airplane/sitting next to this guy/said he wasn’t too shy/and he seem real nice” Janet sings in a raw tone, “until he found out he was gay. That’s so not mellow.” On Free Xone, she tackles homophobia and those who are intolerable on same sex relationships. Yet Janet makes sure in the 90’s house jam that the LGBT community should feel “free to be who you really are.” In a Rolling Stone interview, she expressed that “I’m singing about accepting yourself and living in a world –a free zone—where the world accepts you.” Which is interesting that Janet is able to inspire those to accept and embrace who they are, yet she struggles with understanding and accepting the person she has become. Janet toys with lesbianism throughout the album. In the interlude “Speakerphone,” she is heard masturbating while speaking on the phone with a female friend. In the cover of Rod Stewart’s “Tonight’s the Night,” she alludes to undoing a woman’s French gown. Along with her personal struggles, it seems Janet is also trying to figure out her own sexual identity.
The Velvet Rope ahead of its time and stylistically merging different music and dialogue and emotion to R&B that hadn’t been done before. It helped birth what is now considered Alternative R&B, such as that perform in this genre are The Weeknd, Kelela, Solange and Drake when he’s in his feelings, among many others. It has become the blueprint for may pop stars to branch from their known personas and show their audience their personal side and express their raw feelings, including Christina Aguilera’s Stripped, Britney Spears’ Blackout, Rihanna’s Rated R and even Beyoncé’s self-title. In Jay Z’s memoir Decoded, he cited his song “December 4th” is inspired and similar to “Got Til its Gone.” Transgender activist Janet Mock indicated how the album related to her life, “She was talking about sexual fluidity. She was talking about domestic violence. I couldn’t believe someone was talking about all these issues that were paralleling in my own life.”
Today Janet Jackson is mainly remembered for her infamous wardrobe malfunction, yet she created the blueprint that many of today’s pop stars have used to elevate their careers. She gave hope to those fighting through their own personal struggles all while making us dance. 20 years later, we thank you Janet for letting us behind The Velvet Rope.
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Stankonia in Cleveland
When I was about 9 years old, I used all my allowance money to purchase my first hip-hop album, OutKast's ATLiens. From that moment on, I have been a huge fan of OutKast, to the point where on even my Tinder profile I asked "Speakerboxxx or The Love Below?" as an ice breaker. I love Big Boi's lyrical flow and love Andre 3000's eclectic sense of style and rhyme scheme. Although I've been a fan for years, I have never had the chance to see them perform live.
Last night, I received free tickets to see 1/2 of OutKast, Big Boi performed at the House of Blues Cleveland. It was my first Monday back from vacation, I was drained from reading emails all day, and wasn't mentally prepared to attend a live concert, and then at 4 pm my friend Jackie and I decided to just go.
Big Boi performed a compilation of his solo material and OutKast's well known hits. The level of energy from the crowd, Big Boi and Sleepy Brown was nothing like I've seen before at the House of Blues Cleveland. I was beyond ecstatic that Big Boi performed most of my favorite Outkast tracks, including "Ghetto Musick," "Rosa Parks," and "International Players Anthem (I Choose You)" (which is essentially a UGK track.) I was disappointed he didn't perform "Elevators" or "SpottieOttieDopaliscious".
For a Manic Monday, Big Boi brought the ATL and nostalgia to Cleveland and it was perfect.
36 Likes, 8 Comments - Brittny Pierre (@pierreintomylife) on Instagram: "What @bodyworkculture and I thought would be a boring Monday night changed when @rickonia gave us..."
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Brittny Does Europe: Prague
Last year on a whim, I decided to purchase a cheap round trip ticket and traveled to Amsterdam, Paris and Brussels on my own. It was freeing, and liberating to be able to travel to several countries on my own, not knowing the native languages, and to figure it out all on my own. I enjoyed it so much, I decided to take another solo trip and visit some more new countries I've never been to before. Since last Saturday, I've been touring Eastern Europe and seeing part of the world I never thought I'd see. Aside from traveling and broadening my horizons, this trip was to self reflect, and understand the woman I am becoming in my thirties. But enough of that sappy stuff, let's see what I did at my first stop, Prague, Czech Republic.
The moment I stepped out of the train station into Prague, I was amazed by the architecture. The buildings were stunning and meticulous with how they were structured, every detail creating such gorgeous architecture that was simply breathtaking. I'm such an American that seeing such gorgeous, old style buildings resembled something almost unreal to me; I had stepped into Disney World, where they have fantasy buildings and sets to make you believe you're in New York City in the 1920's.
95 Likes, 21 Comments - Brittny Pierre (@pierreintomylife) on Instagram: "Architect"
Aside from roaming around the city and understanding my "home" for a few days, I did some shopping. I couldn't help myself, especially since there were two malls near where I was staying. The most important item I purchased was an Adidas sweatshirt which was highly needed during the evening. My bomber jacket wasn't going to keep me warm with the low 60 degree temperatures at night.
During my second day, I toured the old and new city of Prague, where I saw most of the Prague Castle and the famous Charles Bridge.
74 Likes, 17 Comments - Brittny Pierre (@pierreintomylife) on Instagram: "Toured old and "new" town Prague. Stunning! . . . . . . . #clevelandblogger #travelgirl #travelgram..."
I even had my own Britney Spears "Slave 4 U" moment with a yellow python. It was cute and fun at first, but then the head started getting closer to my face and all I could think about was the movie Anaconda and how my life could come to an end at any moment. (mind you, there was also a giant snake behind me as well.) It was quite possible.
My last full day in Prague I went to the Museum Kampa which had an Manolo Blahnik exhibit, showing off some of his most iconic shoes, drawings, and even some costumes from the film Marie Antoinette, which he was the head shoe designer for. I had died and gone to shoe heaven. I felt I was finally becoming Carrie Bradshaw, I couldn't take home all the fabulous shoes, but at least I was in the same proximity of them.
75 Likes, 8 Comments - Brittny Pierre (@pierreintomylife) on Instagram: "I visited the Museum of Kampa for the Manolo Blahník exhibit. I could have gone to a museum to..."
As a big Beatles fan, I visited the John Lennon Wall, a long wall with graffiti drawings and words inspired by love, peace, and happiness. With the current political climate in America, it was nice to escape the madness and take in some positivity, and sing joyous songs with complete strangers. (Shout out to my Kate Spade purse that found its way into most of my pics.)
102 Likes, 11 Comments - Brittny Pierre (@pierreintomylife) on Instagram: "I visited the John Lennon wall where the graffiti is all inspired by the Beatles, peace, and love...."
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Girl Talk Vol 1: Breakups
August was an interesting month for those who are into astrology. Not only did we experience a solar eclipse but it also happened during the mercury being in retrograde. If the last few weeks you’ve been experiencing a lot of miscommunication, you are not alone and it’s probably because of the power of the planets. During this planetary alignment is when a lot of relationships fall apart (so they say), and I thought for the first installment of the Girl Talk series, we could discuss breakups. I gathered my girl squad to open up about their toughest breakups, how they handle their own heartbreaks, and the best advice they can offer to Pierre into My Life. The Girl Talk series is where I bring ladies together to discuss an array of topics and share their experiences. One of my favorite college professors told us, “The greatest agency a woman has is to share her story with other women.” I always remembered that quote and wanted to one day create a space where women could share their stories, which became the birth of Girl Talk.
Pour yourself a glass a wine and let's dig into this discussion.
What’s your toughest breakup you have experienced?
“My first break up experience was easily my worst. I'd always feared that I would never be desirable to another and to have those fears 'realized' made the ground under me just crumble. The feeling of inadequacy made me think that I could never measure up to anyone in someone's past. It was just a perfect storm of low self esteem on my end and emotional abuse (that I didn't recognize until later) on his end.” – Suz
"It happened about 2 years ago. It wasn't even my longest relationship by any means but I was completely unprepared and the breakup was a shock. We had been dating for about 5 months and everything was going really well. We had a great emotional connection and physically it was amazing (for him as well as for me), but then he went away for a weekend and something just changed. He didn't respond to texts as quickly and didn't answer the phone. I tried not to worry and tried to just back off figuring he was busy on his boys trip and I didn't want to be "that girl" that was needy and annoying. I also went by the "everything is fine until I am told otherwise" motto, which turned out to be dumb. He got back into town and still there was not a lot of communication and he cancelled plans last minute for a date night. Finally a couple nights after he got back he came over to pick me up for dinner, he walked in the door, kissed me and we went to sit on the couch and have a glass of wine before leaving. I snuggled up to him and told him I missed him and he got quiet. He asked if I was ready to go to dinner and I told him I wanted to talk and make sure we are on same page going forward (meaning I wanted a relationship with him and wanted to hear from him the same).
Him: Well I just think there is something missing and I don't want to force anything. I think you are great but there is just something missing. I don't want to force it.
Me: Ok..... thank you for your honesty and I really liked you and I do wish you well.
Him: I don't want to force anything, and something is just missing.
So he kissed me on the cheek and walked out the door.
A couple months go by and he got a new girlfriend and they got serious quickly. I guess nothing was missing and it wasn't "forced" because they are in love and everything is just amazing for them." - Sarah
“Definitely my first breakup. I was 17, dating this really popular, cool, incredibly smart Senior when I was a Junior. He got accepted into Dartmouth and dumped me on his graduation day. I made this gift for him where I got letters from all his friends and family, and placed them in a box with an Ansel Adams road print image that I placed on it. I got all pretty and waited at my house for him to pick me up and he took hours, then he drove me to this park and broke up with me. My parents loved him, too, because he was in my youth group and basically perfect, so they couldn't believe that he could be an insensitive jerk. As cliche as it is, the first time really is the worst!” – Rachel
“The recent one was the hardest so far but mainly because I felt it had ended hastily and felt very unfinished. I had a lot of anger and resentment towards the other person. I had invested a lot into that relationship and I felt like it had been tossed out the window.’ – Natalia
“The toughest breakup I have ever experienced was with my high school boyfriend. When we went to college we stayed together for a semester and then he decided to take a semester off of school and go live in the woods. Since he didn't have a phone we had to resort to letter writing. We kind of broke up before he left and I stopped writing him because I was trying to move on. His mom then called me and asked me to write because he was so worried about me. I wrote to him and kind of fell back into the relationship and was planning a welcome home party with all of his friends at my house for his return and then the day before he got back I received a letter from him dumping me. He then proceeded to immediately start dating a girl from two grades below me who was the freaking worst and he told her that I had never loved him which then spread through the town and got back to me. This ended up being a blessing in disguise because while he was living the woods life he stopped believing in deodorant and like clocks. The resounding image I have of the breakup in my head is opening a letter on my front porch and reading it and then just lying there crying my eyes out. I found out later that when I wrote him my last few letters, which were extremely personal and intimate, he would sometimes read them aloud to the whole group he was camping with and ask for advice. He really is a nut and I didn't see him for years until my five-year high school reunion and he has a full mountain man beard and long hair and he said we should catch up sometime and have coffee which I would be totally down for because I will always have a soft spot for him. I Facebook messaged him to try to make it happen and he didn't respond which is kind of classic.” – Austin
“After a decade of dealing with fuckbois and dating games it's easy to forget how heartbreaking it is to lose your first love. Due to strict parents and no interest in dating, my first boyfriend came at the ripe old age of 19 (I also discovered vodka around the same time which does not mix well with first love). We had an extremely toxic relationship with me being verbally & mentally abusive and him returning the favor by lying and cheating. Even with our unhealthy dynamic, I was completely caught off guard when he broke up with me. It unlocked some dark abandonment issues and I ended up going on an all-inclusive trip to the psych ward. I had no coping mechanism in place to process the pain I was feeling, no hobbies to retreat to and shut out the world, and no dating history to build up to this monumental heartbreak. But I did have a Lindsay. She marched into the hospital loaded with Taco Bell and immediately began begging the nurses to let her spend the night in the psych ward. They had never gotten that request before. That first night she made me laugh so hard I cried which is quite the feat considering I was surrounded by the scariest cast of characters you can imagine and shaking with fear. Every evening when visiting hours began she was the first one there and the last to leave. She let me stay with her when I got out and devoted every moment to my well-being. She took me on walks and made me talk about difficult subjects when I didn't even want to talk about the weather. She made me dress up and go clubbing when I could barely brush my teeth. She brought me to church at a time I hated God. When she got worn out from my self-pity we would watch serial killer documentaries - it's hard to complain after watching one. I grew stronger and stronger but it wasn't because of medication, exercise, a hobby, or even my own doing. It was Lindsay. Life is so hard and so cruel, everybody needs a Lindsay for the darkest of days.” – Liz
How do you cope when you’re going through a breakup?
“I try and spend time with myself and really become in tune with my mind and my body. I give myself time to go through all the emotions one goes through during a breakup, the tears, the anger, the sadness, the loneliness…all of these emotions are important and you should allow yourself to go through them. After I feel I am getting back to my old self, I begin to go out with my friends, treat myself to massages, manicure and pedicures, see a movie alone etc. It’s important for me to try and keep my mental health on track, which means I try to attend as many therapy sessions I can afford, also talk with God and attend church. Exercise was a great way to get my frustration out and to feel better about myself.” – Brittny
“Try to keep as busy as possible (even wanting to work more), lean on my friends for support. Exercise more. Sometimes obsess about the things said or done in the relationship, ruminate, get angry. Talk to myself in my head about it (I become my own therapist 😩)" -Natalia
“Go on a Netflix binge. Get a haircut, get your nails done, talk to your friends. Talk to someone on a therapy app (like 7 cups of tea). I always think about the activities I WANTED to do with him and just found some girlfriends or family members to do it with instead. You own your life, he doesn't (obviously my answers are going to be based on a heterosexual pov).” – Suz
“I actually isolate myself quite a bit because I don't want to cry in front of people and I don't want to be "that girl" who can't get over someone. I watch movies and TV, I eat whatever I want and I don't make plans because I can't control my emotions and if someone asks me about the breakup I fall apart. I have gotten better about not worrying that I am "that girl" because maybe I am and it's okay. Once I find the right guy I won't be so terrified to be "that girl" because he will respond and want to spend time with me as much as I want to spend time with him. I don't want to play games and pretend I don't care when I actually care quite a bit.” –Sarah
"I take time to grieve but after a few mopey weekends watching Netflix, eating some bad food and going to boozy brunches with friends, I reestablish what I want. In my last breakup, I did all these things for about a month and then I got back on dating sites. I got my hair done, new clothes, worked out, read empowering non fiction memoirs (I love Julie Klausner's I Don't Care About Your Band), listened to new music, whatever made myself feel like my best self and then just threw myself into dating again. I've been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years now and he meets all the qualities I wrote down on my list of what I wanted in a partner.” – Rachel
What’s the best advice to give to readers of Pierre into My Life who might be going through a breakup?
“Treat it like a death. Allow yourself to grieve and go through the steps. Don't bottle up your feelings but allow yourself to feel entirely. If this means crumbling into a ball and crying yourself into a frenzy do it. This doesn't mean to wallow but you have to give yourself time to heal. All I wanted to do was skip to the end of this and "feel better" but I couldn't do that without letting my feelings out.” – Suz
“My advice is focus on yourself and self care. What do you want out of your next relationship? What did you not like about the previous partner? Make a list of qualities you want in a new partner. I think that writing those qualities down and also the ones you do not want is very helpful. My mom is recently remarried and she did this. Her new husband is basically all of the things she wanted.” – Rachel
“Going through a breakup reminds me a lot of the process of grieving (denial, anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance). You mourn the life of a relationship as opposed to the life of a person. You have to go through the process and not skip steps or you'll be held back from fully moving forward.” – Natalia
“You don't want to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't want to be in a relationship with you. You deserve someone who wants you and now you have learned more about what you want and what you don't want.” – Sarah
“First off, delete them from all social media. Delete their number, their text threads--delete, delete, delete. I call it spring cleaning. Get all the junk out of your life. Everything takes time. Don’t beat yourself up if it’s taking longer than you had intended. Remember to treat yourself well and find the best way to stay afloat. This is also a great time to renew yourself, try new hobbies, check out a new restaurant, travel etc. Most importantly make sure to find the best partner for you in the next relationship.” – Brittny
“Try to remember who you are at your core and stand strong in that. Listen to your gut.”- Erika
What are your thoughts on breakups? What's the best way to get over someone? Drop a line in the comments
Featured
IT'S BEYONCÉ'S BIRTHDAY!
Photo Courtesy: Getty Images
Today is a national holiday because it is the day Beyonce Giselle Knowles Carter was brought into the world. We have been blessed with such an extraordinary talent who has sacrificed her life for our entertainment and sins. Today we celebrate her legacy!
Below is my all-time favorite Beyoncé performance.
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Transatlantic Playlist + Podcasts Recommendations
Is it just me or is summer flying by. Or maybe I’m just having way too much for, but whatever it may be, I am nowhere near ready to embark my trip to solo dolo trip overseas. I swear it felt like it would be forever from now but as the days creep up, I’m wondering where time went. If you haven’t noticed, I’m a huge music love and have a huge passion sharing playlists. If you’re ever looking for a playlist, I’m the girl for you. I create a playlist for everything, when I need time to unwind, songs to block out loud colleagues when I’m trying to focus, the soundtrack to be my runway tunes aka songs I strut to when I’m walking around Cleveland, OH. Of course, I created a playlist not only for myself but for my fellow travelers. I prefer to compile chill out tunes to help me relax while flying but also help with my anxiety. I will also share a few podcasts that I’ve been listening to that you can add to your queue while you’re at your layover.
Here are 3 tracks to maybe persuade you into checking out my playlist
Don’t Touch My Hair | Solange
A Seat at the Table really resonated with me on so many levels, as being a proud black woman and as someone trying to figure out who I am. “Don’t Touch My Hair” is the first song to lyrically explain how important my hair means to me, especially hearing it from another black woman with natural hair.
Maiden Voyage/ Everything In Its Right Place | Robert Glasper
This isn’t your mama’s jazz music. Robert infuses hip-hop over smooth jazz melodies. Robert beautifully covers Radiohead’s “Everything In Its Right Place’.
Tsunami | Katy Perry
I know it’s popular to hate on Katy Perry at the moment but there are some decent tracks on Witness. If you can overlook that it’s another Katy song that uses metaphors for sex and silly cliché lyrics, “Tsunami” is a stand out track for Perry.
Podcasts I’m Currently Subscribed To
Bitch Sesh
Hosted by Real Housewives enthusiasts Casey Wilson and Danielle Schneider. The duo gives a hilarious take on the latest episodes of the Housewives but also share equally hilarious stories from their personal lives. Bitch Sesh was my introduction into listening to podcast but it also changed my life. One day I will open up about how special this podcast means to me on a personal level.
You can listen here
Watch What Crappens
Everyone who knows me, knows I’m obsessed with all things Housewives and housewives adjacent shows to the point my TV is always on Bravo. Watch What Crappens can be difficult to get into with all the different imitations the hosts does and inside jokes, but once you get it, it’s hilarious. So many times I’ve listened to the episodes on a flight and bust out laughing and immediately embarrass myself.
You can listen here
Still Processing
As much as I love listening to Housewives recaps, I sometimes feel like it could potentially lower my IQ. Which is why I started seeking more intellect podcasts. Two NYT culture writers Jenna Wortham and Wesley Morris dissect the hottest topics from the week that was discussing politics and pop culture. Jenna and Wesley will passionately discuss how the Charlotteville protests personally affected them but also giddily discuss all things Beyoncé.
You can listen here
You Must Remember This
Katrina Longworth beautifully explores the lives of old Hollywood biggest stars and scandals. Recently she shares the parallels of actresses Jane Fonda and Jean Seberg in nine episodes. If you’re a movie buff or love the allure of old Hollywood, this is the perfect podcast for you.
You can listen here
Bodega Boys
Desus and Mero are the only thing helping me cope with the current political climate. The Bronx duo always find humor in all the craziness this country is experiencing which also reminds you how incredibly ridiculous we must look to other countries but also it’s okay to laugh through the pain. Plus, listening to them reminds me so much of being back home in New York City.
You can listen here
What podcasts are you listening to?
Check out my Transatlantic playlist below. Enjoy!
Featured
Happy Birthday, Michael Jackson!
Today would have been the King of Pop, Michael Jackson’s 59th birthday. The son of Katherine and Joe Jackson, Michael was the eighth of ten children and born in Gary, Indiana. Michael made his musical career debut in 1964 as a member of the Jackson 5. His career has spanned over four decades and has sold over 300 million records. Michael went on to global domination as one of greatest entertainers of all-time.
Personally, Michael Jackson is the first musical artist I connected with. My entire family loved MJ. My older sister owned his doll, trading cards, posters, and pins. One of my parents earliest dates was attending a concert of the Jackson 5 at the Apollo Theater in Harlem. Needless to say there was no escaping a love for Michael Jackson. My earliest memories of Michael Jackson was watching his short film, "Moonwalker," religiously everyday after school. I practiced every music video’s choreography, including "Smooth Criminal" where I almost busted my knee on my grandparents’ coffee table trying to imitate the infamous lean.
To me, Michael Jackson was the ideal of what a pop star should embodied. Multiple catchy tunes, insane dance moves, visually stunning music videos, and most importantly, providing magic on stage. He had it all. For many music lovers he was everything. He will live on through his music for future generations and inspire countless of artists to come.
Thank you for everything, Michael!
Remember the Time
Michael pulled out all the stops for this video. Remember when I said a pop star should bring magic? MJ disappearing into gold dust is that!
Bad
Michael wrote “Bad” with Prince in mind for an epic duet. Prince backed out because he didn’t want to sing “your butt is mine”.
Scream
Michael + Janet = major epicness
What are your favorite Michael Jackson song?
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3 Tips for Living Your Best Life While Having Acne
Photo Courtesy: @SincerelyCass11
Acne has been a major struggle for me since I was in the 5th grade. I have tried every medication, tested out different routines, etc and it can be very frustrating seeking clear skin. This summer and Pierre into My Life is a journey for not only myself but my readers to find ways to improve their lives with self-love and self-care. I was fortunate enough to speak with YouTube beauty guru Cassandra Bankson, who has been open with her issues with acne on her YouTube page. Cassandra is speaking with Pierre into My Life on the best ways to find beauty in yourself while you strive for clear skin.
Here are 3 Tips for Living Your Best Life While Having Acne
1. Begin With Finding Examples of Appreciating Yourself
“Often we talk to ourselves negatively and our internal dialogue is ‘oh my god I have so many pimples,’ or ‘oh my god I am so ugly.’ When you have those thoughts everyday it doesn’t set you up for success or even allow you to concentrate on the world around you. One of the most productive things that I have done was to find things about myself that I love and things about myself that I cherish. I accept and respect my body and skin. Self love can lead into a decrease in stress which actually can show a physical reduction in breakouts. So maybe it can be your eyes you could compliment, your height or something about your body or the way you dress. Or the fact you’re an eloquent speaker.
Start bringing yourself up instead of bringing yourself down. It’s hard but there are actually scientific facts neuroplasticity in the brain which is a big fancy word in psychology and medicine which means brain can rewire and itself. If you’re wired to think negatively, you can rewire to think positively which will definitely have an outcome on your stress and the positivity of your life.”
2. Cover Up Mirrors
“Tape up different mirrors. I would find that mirrors were really triggering to me because I would judge myself or I would find myself picking at my skin which was a nervous self-destructive habit. Especially when my acne was at its worst, if I just put papers on top of mirrors and it stopped myself from looking at them and put a positive affirmational on them, it helped me realize to not judge yourself. It’s okay to be you. This is only temporary and that mirror does not dictate your self worth. What you have to offer the world is more than just an image and that paper on the mirror represents that. That got me out of my own head and gave me the opportunity to think about how I can be a benefit to others or how I can do less damage to the world around me instead of having the world circulate around me and my insecurities.”
3. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
“Unfortunately girls are prone to comparison which is definitely difficult and I always found myself comparing myself to others whether it was my skin, my acne, or my body, or my hair type. I found celebrities that I looked up to who faced the same problems that I did. For instance I saw a Proactiv commercial with Katy Perry and I never knew Katy Perry dealt with acne and I respect her. So many celebrities that we idolize, that we deemed as perfect and then you realize, ‘oh my god, they’re humans too.’ The singer Lorde recently said 'stop photo shopping my acne it’s a part of me.' Seeing other people living by examples almost gives us permission to do the same as well. For me I found that extraordinarily helpful.”
One Major Pro Tip to Help With Clearing Your Skin:
“Education is key. Everyone’s skin is different, everyone’s acne is different.”
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I know 2021 will be slightly better because of this.