There's No Place Like Home
How I Traveled to Europe Under $1200
Traveling can be a luxury but you can definitely go abroad without spending out of your means. There are plenty of sites that share low flight fares and Groupon is a great source for package deals. Last September I traveled to Eastern Europe, visiting Budapest, Prague and Vienna and I only spent less than $1200 for the entire trip. Here’s my breakdown.
Flight: $30
I swear! I only paid $30 for the entire flight. I received a $1000 voucher from Delta Airlines due to an overbook flight. I took the offer and had to stay one evening in Atlanta, but it was worth it.
Lodging: $705.84
I spent 14 days in three different countries and decided the cheapest option would be to stay at Airbnb. I rented a room in each location and most were less than $80 a night. I also made sure every place I stayed offered breakfast so I eliminated purchasing one meal a day.
For 4 nights in Budapest - $284.94
1 night in Budapest - $75.00
4 nights in Prague - $202.95
4 nights in Vienna 142.95
Transportation: $411
To travel to each country, I opt to take trains to each destination. I also splurged and purchased first class seats for each train ride, but you can definitely purchase economy seating to keep your spending as low as possible.
For a 6 hour train from Budapest to Prague - $176
4 hour train ride from Prague to Vienna - $142
2 ½ hour ride from Vienna to Budapest - $93
Overall I spent $1146.79
Another way I cut cost of spending, I used public transportation instead of using taxis or shuttle buses. Most were $2 round trip, and many locals are happy to help you get around or your hosts at the Airbnb.
How are some ways you’ve been able to cut costs for traveling?
Budgetistas: Designer Handbags for Less
Okay, budgetistas, now let’s get in to formation!
Am I the only one who loves expensive things but my bank account won't let me be great? I am also a firm believer of seasonal handbags, a bag for every season. Currently in the Midwest it still feels like summertime despite it being nearly November, but it’s still Autumn. Even if you love yourself some designer handbags, you can get some gorgeous ones for under $300.
Here are some discounted handbags to add to your autumn wardrobe.
Cole Haan | Renson II Small Woven Leather Tote Bag $189.97
Vivienne Westwood | Derby Satchel $299.97
Betsy Johnson | Printed Satchel $49.97
Kate Spade New York | Emerson Place Lenia $179.00
Milly | Astor Mini Leather Saddle Crossbody $159
Alice + Olivia | Present Box Small Leather Crossbody $219
French Connection | Alana Smooth Shoulder Tote Bag $85.00
Henri Bendel | West 57th Backpack $289.00
Rebecca Minkoff | Julian Convertible Mini Leather Backpack $195
Sunset & Spring | Double Pocket Faux Fur Backpack $80
Kate Spade | Watson Lane Hartley Leopard Print $198
Happy handbag shopping!
A Look Back At the Week That Was
Phew! I am still exhausted from the non-stop week I had.
On Tuesday, after months of planning, CMSD and Channel 3 joined forces and kicked off our Untitled Black History Month project with the Digital Arts High School. To jump start the program, we chartered the students around Cleveland to prominent historical landmarks, including Garret A. Morgan Water Works, Karamu House, St. John’s Episcopal Church, etc. One interesting fact I learned during the tour, it took slaves an entire year to walk from the south to Ohio/St. John’s Episcopal Church. What an incredible and brave of them to endure to freedom.
Students standing in front of the Jesse Owens statue
The next few days were spent at the Council of Great City Schools where the largest urban school districts in the country come to together and share how to improve and enrich our scholars’ education. It was my second time attending but equally informative. This year, Cleveland hosted the conference. I have to say, CMSD and Cleveland did a fantastic job as hosts and really set the bar for next year’s hosts Baltimore.
We also had incredible speakers during the conference aside from our peers. Bill Gates opened the conference and in a big way by announcing he would donate 1.7 billion dollars to charter schools.
Rosario Dawson shared her journey as a daughter of a teen mom, growing up poor in the Lower East Side in Manhattan and how her mom advocated for her to have the best education. With her current platform she pays it forward by her involvement in Lower East Side Girls Club.
Van Jones closed the conference with an incredible speech on how we need to balance the left and right to have a working and powerful future. He also moderated our forum on equity in education with superintendents including CMSD’s Eric Gordon, and CMSD’s students and parents.
I skipped one of the conference dinner to attend the Milly fashion show at Saks.
Saturday night, we had our farewell celebration at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame museum, where the entire museum was open for the attendees to explore. Although I just visited the museum a few weeks ago, I was finally able to take in their Power of Rock Experience, a 15 minute video of some of the highlighted performances throughout the years of the Rock Hall’s induction ceremony in a surround sound theater. It was incredible and I recommend anyone to check it out if you’re in the area (as well as their Rolling Stone magazine anniversary exhibit).
I closed off the weekend and week by attending the first show of the Broadway Series at Playhouse Square, Waitress. I wasn’t sure I would enjoy the musical when it was announced earlier this year during preview week, but I will say it’s one of the best musicals I have ever seen. As a proud Ice Princess, I wept at the end. It really made my cold heart melt for a few minutes. You know it’s good when it’s capable of doing that.
Overall, I had an eventful week. I wish I could say this week will be mellow but that's simply not the case. I'm heading back home to New York City for a few days this week. I cannot wait to go back to the city that never sleeps!
Shake Up Your Work Attire: Pantsuits
If you're following along, and read "Shake Up Your Work Attire" you'll know that I am in the process of changing up my work wardrobe. During the winter, I always end up wearing a uniform which consist of a black turtleneck and black slacks. Although I think it's great to wear a uniform once awhile, I did not want to get set in my old ways.
I had always been into androgynous looks, the way a woman can wear menswear and make it sexy, has always been GOALS! Some of my favorite fashion icons are capable of making that look work, including Tracee Ellis Ross, Diane Keaton, and Grace Jones. I decided to buy my first suit set, and not the Hillary Clinton kind, one that would get me excited when I throw it on for work.
This Fall I am completely obsessed with all things velvet and my favorite color is black. When I came across this suit on ASOS, I not only gagged but I also knew I had to have it in my life.
I wish I could wear nothing but black, but a splash of color doesn't hurt. I paired the outfit with pearls and my gorgeous black and white Gx by Gwen Stefani pumps.
Harvey Weinstein’s Harassments Re-Opened My Own Wounds
Last week, The New York Times reported the articles “Harvey Weinstein Paid Off Sexual Harassment Accusers for Decades,” where they exposed a major Hollywood producer of asserting himself sexually on several employees, models and actresses including Ashley Judd, and Rose McGowan. Since the article was released and went viral, many A list actresses have come forward addressing their own accounts. While reading many of the victims’ stories I noticed a familiar theme, many of them were either threatened to not say anything or were too scared to say anything of what they had experienced. This reopened my own wounds of my experience with sexual assault, where I didn’t feel comfortable coming forward, and was threatened to not speak on it. My experience is just one of many; Whether it was a famous Academy Award winner or an average everyday person you’ve known from school, a family member, or even yourself, who was too scared to say something about their own assault. When will it we come to a point where that is no longer the case?
I’m not a celebrity nor was the person who raped me a powerful man in Hollywood. However, I was shamed for what I experienced. Whether it’s because of ingrained double standards I’ve come too familiar with, or law enforcement didn’t think it was severe enough to handle. My first experience was at 21. It was any normal night out with my girlfriends in college at a local lounge we frequented. My attacker was the lounge’s bartender that I had grown to have a crush on. After a night of dancing and drinking, the evening became hazier as the night went on. The next morning I woke up, with my clothes off in the student lounge area in a dorm building I didn’t live in. Not completely sure of my surroundings, I didn’t know what exactly went down the night before but I was aware that I more than likely had sex. Retracing my tracks, I did find out from a friend that I went home with the bartender and she thought I was safe. I played it off that I was completely okay but the truth was I didn’t know what happened at all. Embarrassed with the fact of what went down, I became angry that I could allow myself to drink so much to get to the point of not knowing what I was doing, but the truth of the matter was, I was roofied. It had also been my first sexual “experience” ever. I had buried that entire experience from my memory shortly after. I also was too embarrassed to act on the situation.
Two years later, after an exhausting walk to the town over to a drug store. I called an ex boyfriend for a ride back to campus. He agreed and we had a nice conversation catching up about what we were doing that summer. By the time we reached my house, he believed that he was entitled to have sex with me for the favor of a ride home. I refused. He kept pushing and I repeatedly stated no. He forced himself onto me and pinned me down so strongly that it was hard for me to fight back. After a few moments and weak attempts to escape, I gave up. Someone I once trusted, was no longer someone I could trust. I felt disgusted, hurt and defeated. After he finished, he said “It wasn’t that bad after all.” I was livid. I was angry.
I just wanted to use a sad pug pic
Shortly after this happened, I disclosed what happened to a close friend, he encouraged me to report him to our local police. I decided to do so with his help. I confessed my story to two male police officers and this was their responses:
“It wasn’t in a dark alley.”
“It could be seen as consensual as you two had dated previously. You’re just trying to get back at him.”
“Do you really want to ruin his entire life?”
“If you go through with this, you’ll have to experience the situation all over again, it’s not fun.”
No, it wasn’t in a dark alley. Yes, we had dated previously but they didn’t know our relationship history. I didn’t have any hard feelings towards him. Was my life and what I had just experienced not as important as his entire life? Because no matter what, I will always have to remember that entire ordeal.
I felt defeated. I cried in the room I told the police officers because I didn’t know what else to do. I decided to not press charges and once again suppressed my feelings.
Society has made it known that rape is bad, but only a certain type of rape. The victim is always questioned more than the abuser. What was she wearing? Why would she be alone with him if she didn’t want to sleep with him? If she doesn’t come forward as quickly as society believes she should, why did she wait so long? What is she getting out of this? Many of the same questions I saw come across my social media timeline when victims came out to accuse not only Harvey Weinstein but also Bill Cosby, and Stanford student Brock Turner.
Until society changes the way we view rape culture, men will continue to assault women and feel they are entitled to their bodies. A conversation is needed where we stop saying “Boys will be boys” and stop questioning women when they speak out on their experiences. We need to hold men accountable for the way they treat women, whether it's street harassment, sexual harassment in the work place or elsewhere, or sexual assault.
It has taken me years to be able to open up about my experiences. I will never forget reading Audre Lorde’s Sisters Outsider and I came across the line “I feel, therefore I can be free.” And I broke down and cried. Basically until I understand everything I experience and actually go through those emotions, I can be free of everything I’m holding in. However, no matter what, I will never be the same. Those experiences will always be a part of who I am. And the same goes for every victim that has ever experienced any form of sexual assault.
If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted, please seek help by calling the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800-656-HOPE (4673). For more resources on sexual assault, visit RAINN the National Sexual Violence Resource Center.
Shake Up Your Work Attire
When I began my big girl job, my mom purchased all my work attire. The thought of just going through a store to find something to wear to work just bored me to tears, but my mom enjoys shopping so it was a win-win situation. They were all professional, but very boring (no disrespect.) However, after 2+ years in this position, I'm over trying to conform to the social norms of what a 'professional' should look like. I'm comfortable enough in my skin and my job to show my true sense of style.
I've never been one who wants to fit in when it comes to style. There are trends that I find cool and might adapt, but for the most part, I have an idea of what I want to look like and how it should be styled.
That being said, I decided to go into my closet and throw away outfits that weren't for me. I kept some that I'll wear when I'm not in the mood to style myself, and kept other items that I knew I could shake up with different pieces and make my own.
This outfit is a mix of old and new; A pencil skirt, with a blouse and heels:
Skirt: An Express faux leather skirt I purchased from a thrift store. (Already own.)
Shoes: Black and white Gx by Gwen Stefani (Already owned.)
Blouse: Polka dot, puffy sleeve with front tie from H&M (New.)
Sunglasses: Aldo
Revisit Janet Jackson's The Velvet Rope 20 Years Later
The Velvet Rope is a metaphor for emotional boundaries as well as an allusion to the individual’s need to feel special. Behind the velvet rope, Janet unveiled her world to the listener. We hear her explore her sexuality, her willingness to experiment with BDSM and her struggle with depression, abuse and self-worth. Janet signed a $80 million contract with Virgin Records prior to the album release and attained the largest recording contract in history at that time. Yet with major success and achievement, Michael Jackson’s little sister still felt, as stated in the interlude Sad “there’s nothing more depressing than having everything and still feeling sad.” Janet used the album and theme to work through the personal demons she needed to overcome, which has become the template for artists to experiment with darker sounds. Though the album was a moment for Janet to heal personally, she used her platform to speak on LGBT community, domestic violence and depression; which was groundbreaking to hear in a pop album in the 90’s. It's time to revisit The Velvet Rope 20 years later.
After suffering from an emotional breakdown at the end of the janet. World Tour, Janet decided to face the struggles she buried for years through her music and making it the concept of the album. Working with her dream team, producers Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis, the three created a version of Miss Jackson we had not seen or heard before. In Control, we heard her embrace self-empowerment. Rhythm Nation was on social consciousness through race, class and violence and janet. helped her open with her sex appeal. The Velvet Rope is a mature record that shows the many sides of the superstar as she works through understanding the person she has become. The composition fuses various genres, including pop, R&B, trip hop, folk, jazz, rock, funk and house. What would normally sound like a cluster fuck on most albums with an array of many genres, Jam and Lewis were able to magically blend all the sounds into the perfect package of Janet’s current state of mind.
The album debuted at the top spot of the Billboard 200 charts, selling 202,000 copies its first week and by 1998 the album sold 1.6 million copies. Its first single “Got Till It's Gone” peaked at number 36 on the Hot 100, featuring A Tribe Called Quest’s Q-Tip, where the two brought a chill trip-hop vibe over a Joni Mitchell sample of “Big Yellow Taxi”. The visual for the single is one of Jackson’s best, as it captures and celebrates the music, style, and culture in South Africa. Janet, who is effortlessly cool, also rocks bold red hair in bantu knots. This would make #teamnatural/Shea Butter Twitter retweet constantly with the caption “YAS QUEEN” if the video were released today. Even the filter and aesthetics of the video would make every Tumblr and Instagram user wish they had created the style before the video. The video would go on to win a Grammy Award for Best Short Form Music Video.
The second single was by far Janet’s most successful during the era, “Together Again” which was inspired by her friend who she lost to AIDS. The neo-disco track was inspired by Donna Summer’s “Last Dance”, it reached #1 on the Hot 100 and spent 46 weeks on the charts. It's among one of the biggest selling global singles, selling 6 million copies worldwide. The final single and one of Janet’s sexiest tunes in her discography, “I Get Lonely,” that gives listeners a familiar sound of the sultry pop-R&B which Jackson has been known for. “I Get Lonely” received positive reviews and became Jackson’s eighteenth consecutive Top Ten hit on the Hot 100, becoming the first female artist to achieve that record. One of the most memorable scenes in the visuals for the single is when Janet and her dancers rip off their white button-down shirts to expose her lace black bra, continuing to dance and sing about struggles of loneliness. In the mainstream, Janet was one of the only black artists who wasn’t afraid to be sexy and push the boundaries of how much sex appeal she could show. It paved the way for artists like Rihanna, Nicki Minaj, and Beyoncé.
“What about the times you said no one would want me? / What about all the shit you have done to me?” Janet proclaims in a stern vocal rage in “What About,” a haunting rock mid-tempo tune about a tumultuous relationship fueled by cheating, emotional and physical abuse. Janet has dug deep with the multiple struggles she dealt with in her first marriage to James DeBrage. They married when she was 16 and expressed he was demeaning and dealt with a drug problem at the time of their short relationship. Later on in the album, Janet speaks to herself in “Special” explaining it was time to reflect on every obstacle she has occurred. Even though it’s painful, she found we must overcome it and discover ways to find love within. Throughout the song, she seeks the need to feel special; which is a juxtaposition for a person who is made to feel special with multiple award shows, made up and adoring fans. Sometimes that just isn't enough. The very last words of the song are “work in progress”—she’s still hasn’t reached her full potential of conquering her pain and finding true happiness.
“He was on the airplane/sitting next to this guy/said he wasn’t too shy/and he seem real nice” Janet sings in a raw tone, “until he found out he was gay. That’s so not mellow.” On Free Xone, she tackles homophobia and those who are intolerable on same sex relationships. Yet Janet makes sure in the 90’s house jam that the LGBT community should feel “free to be who you really are.” In a Rolling Stone interview, she expressed that “I’m singing about accepting yourself and living in a world –a free zone—where the world accepts you.” Which is interesting that Janet is able to inspire those to accept and embrace who they are, yet she struggles with understanding and accepting the person she has become. Janet toys with lesbianism throughout the album. In the interlude “Speakerphone,” she is heard masturbating while speaking on the phone with a female friend. In the cover of Rod Stewart’s “Tonight’s the Night,” she alludes to undoing a woman’s French gown. Along with her personal struggles, it seems Janet is also trying to figure out her own sexual identity.
The Velvet Rope ahead of its time and stylistically merging different music and dialogue and emotion to R&B that hadn’t been done before. It helped birth what is now considered Alternative R&B, such as that perform in this genre are The Weeknd, Kelela, Solange and Drake when he’s in his feelings, among many others. It has become the blueprint for may pop stars to branch from their known personas and show their audience their personal side and express their raw feelings, including Christina Aguilera’s Stripped, Britney Spears’ Blackout, Rihanna’s Rated R and even Beyoncé’s self-title. In Jay Z’s memoir Decoded, he cited his song “December 4th” is inspired and similar to “Got Til its Gone.” Transgender activist Janet Mock indicated how the album related to her life, “She was talking about sexual fluidity. She was talking about domestic violence. I couldn’t believe someone was talking about all these issues that were paralleling in my own life.”
Today Janet Jackson is mainly remembered for her infamous wardrobe malfunction, yet she created the blueprint that many of today’s pop stars have used to elevate their careers. She gave hope to those fighting through their own personal struggles all while making us dance. 20 years later, we thank you Janet for letting us behind The Velvet Rope.
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Girl Talk Vol 2: Roommates
Roommates, you either love 'em or you hate 'em. If you live in a high rent city, chances are you have several people living with you. Some people are lucky enough that they've never had a moment where they wanted to strangle the person they're living with - those people cannot be trusted. Here are some personal stories from women and their experiences, both good and bad, when it comes to living with roommates.
What’s the worst incidents you’ve experience with a roommate?
"I'll be honest, I'm not good with living with other people and I have several horror stories. I think my last year of college living with the group of girls was by far the worst. I had been living with them for about three years but their ticks were getting under my skin my senior year. It was 5 of us living together in the house and it started out with just one cat...by the time I graduated we had 3, and almost had 4. My one housemate was an extreme hoarder who just couldn't allow certain things to live on the street. We had pointless furniture taking up open spaces, she brought home a giant plant from the student center, the list just kept going. There were fur balls everywhere, dirty dishes galore, and just general clutter everywhere." - Brittny
"I've had a roommate share a house with me twice. I live in Baltimore and the rent in the city is just way too high to afford by yourself on your average millennial salary. My first roommate was my best friend, she already stayed with me all the time so I figured we'd be great roommates, boy was I wrong. A week after moving into the house she had her new boyfriend staying with us 6 out of 7 nights of the week, and if that wasn't bad enough, she ended our lease 9 months early after only living together for 3 months, to move to California with her boyfriend (the one she'd only been dating for 3 months), we lost our security deposit and she made off with a few of my things as well, safe to say that friendship was over. My last roommate was the absolute worst though, she suffered from a lot of anxiety and OCD issues (but who doesn't these days?) and after a few months of living together it got out of control. If I changed the thermostat or had the TV volume on an uneven number she lost her mind, you would think it was the end of the world. Her dog chewed up my shoes, and all of my underwear because she let her roam freely through the house (which included my downstairs bedroom) and then would blame it on the dog having "anxiety". The worst however was how many of my things "mysteriously" disappeared. She would borrow my clothes and not return them, then claim she had no idea where they were...that was until I'd find them hidden in her room or other random spots, she even took my Manny Machado bobble heads I scored at the Orioles game and hid them in a random box in the basement. To this day I have no idea if she was doing things unconsciously and literally didn't remember, or if she was that spiteful, but needless to say, I'll never live with someone else again!" - Catrina
“My college roommate got pregnant while living in our dorm. I was literally feet away from them fooling around. I slept with earplugs in so I'd miss most of it (thank god). They ended up getting married and are living the life though! I hate having roommates. I've been married/living with someone for a long time and since my husband left it's amazing to have time to watch what I want, clean when I want, etc”. – Erika
"I have to say the worst incident I inflicted on my poor college roommate was bringing home a guy into my bottom bunk bed while she was sleeping on the top bunk. Let's just say there's no way she could have slept through the impending events. I still cringe thinking about this night, and I should definitely send out in the universe my condolences to my dignity." - Kristin
"I lived in a house with two guys my sophomore year of college and to say one of them was messy, is an understatement. He would leave dirty dishes and plates of half eaten food everywhere. Glasses were left out for weeks with old, smelly, beer. My other roommate (he was a great deal more considerate/organized) and I started piling his dishes up at his closed door hoping he would clean up. He would just open his door and step over them, NOT EVEN NOTICING THEM! Then we ran out of dishes and glasses. I bought paper plates just so he would get the message that I was not going to clean up for him. We then moved the dirty plates to his bed and that finally got him to realize how bad it was." - Sarah
"By far the worst was my first roommate in Austin. I moved here not knowing anyone and moved in with a chick who was in my graduate program. She left the key for me and my mom moved me into her house. She found a book in the living room called something like How to Be an Obedient Christian Wife: Submitting and Providing to You Husband. I hadn't physically met her yet and my mom screamed to me, "This isn't gonna work!" She was right! I also lived with an acquaintance after a breakup and her and her roommate got super messed up during SXSW, let my cat out and I could hear him crying for a few days straight. Everyone gets messed up during SXSW but...come on. I had friends in town and we finally found him days later sandwiched behind a washer in our neighbor's garage. Tragic." - Rachel
"My roommates were leaving one summer to go study abroad and to offset the cost of rent while they were gone they found someone through a friend to sublet their room to. Turns out the person was someone the friend had partied with during Freshman year but had no real connection to. At first he seemed fine, was courteous, hung out and socialized but then towards the end his behavior became erratic and manic. He would go on weird rambling tangents about the drugs he was doing and the people he would be hanging out with. He would create elaborate stories that made little sense and were clearly fabricated. One time I came home to hear arguing upstairs and the sound of a taser going off - his friend was trying to tase him! We had to threaten to call the cops to dispel the tense situation. The end came when one day he started slipping notes under one of the roommates door writing that he thought we were all actors spying on him and that there were cameras everywhere filming him. Terrified, my roommate, locked the door only to have him try to kick it down repeatedly. He was eventually taken away to a psychiatric facility for evaluation. We later realized he may be suffering from Truman Show delusion (not officially listed in the DSM). He was clearly having a psychotic breakdown of sorts. It was an unfortunate situation all around." - Helena
What is the best thing about having a roommate?
"The best thing about a roommate is always having someone to socialize with. Once I moved off my college campus, my roommate and I were forever watching dvds in bed drinking wine. Our particular favorite was Sex and The City (my former roommate teases me to this day about my love for the show). Parties are great, but nothing beat relaxing with a friend laughing until our stomachs hurt." - Kristin
"The built in community that comes with having someone present for all the moments - good, bad and everything in between. If you have a good roommate then you've got a great friend. Having access to their clothes is also a plus, with permission of course " - Helena
“I think the best is coming home to a group of people you enjoy being around and being able to watch movies or comfort one another during difficult times. I remember our Britney Spears parties, our horror movie nights, and celebrating Halloween together.” – Brittny
"I lived with my best friend for 3 years and we love almost all the same movies, music, tv, etc...so I loved that. The best thing about a random roommate would be some company when you're younger and single. " - Rachel
Funniest story while living with your current/former roommate?
“I will never forget waking up on a Friday morning to a knock on my door when my roommate tells me she has something to tell me. She had lost her front tooth and had no idea how it happened. The entire house bonded together, took her to the dentist, created a story to tell her family and the dentist as the reasoning for the missing tooth. Through detective work, we were able to trace her steps and figure out how it all went down…she fell trying to piggy back off of a guy’s back. The sweet part was...the guy returned her tooth.” - Brittny
"One of my former roommates used to bring home guys all the time (more power to her!), but would never admit to hooking up. One night, we could clearly hear some business going on at about 3AM, and asked her about it the next day. She claimed that her and her date decided to do "burpees" (some exercise move) at 3AM. " - Kristin
How do you initiate a problem you have with a roommate?
"I am usually very passive aggressive but with a roommate it gets to a certain point and then I blow up because you can't avoid them. Sometimes I write a letter or note explaining that I am upset and these are the reasons why.... Then we talk it over face to face. If I tried to speak with them about my complaints/concerns without writing it out first, it did not go well and I just would end up looking like the crazy one." - Sarah
"I try to hit it head on depending on our relationship. If I wasn't really friends with them, I'll send an email or note, talk face to face as little as possible. If it's a friend, face to face ALWAYS." - Rachel
"I always used my typical coping mechanism of pretending nothing happened and then just letting my anger percolate. This is why I am a terrible roommate." - Kristin
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Brittny Does Europe: Budapest
My last leg of my solo trip is to Budapest. My friend visited Budapest last year and told me how much I would love the city, which prompted me to book this trip altogether (as well as Wes Anderson's The Grand Budapest Hotel). I stayed at a beautiful Airbnb in the heart of the city with had a desk by the window with a gorgeous view of the city. It was the perfect spot for a writer.
The first night I walked around the neighborhood and witnessed the city's breathtaking skyline.
Budapest is split by two cities Buda and Pest. I decided to take a day tour of the Buda side where I visited the Fisherman's Bastion, Buda Castle, Matthias Church, and the Holy Trinity Statue.
84 Likes, 8 Comments - Brittny Pierre (@pierreintomylife) on Instagram: "The gorgeous sight seeing I took in on the Buda end: *Matthias Church * Holy Trinity Statue..."
This is a statue of Andras Hadik. Allegedly, if you rub the horse's testicles you receive good luck. I did not test this theory so I'm not sure if it's completely true or not.
I loved the architect of the Fisherman's Bastion and decided to take a selfie but each time I attempted, tourists kept getting in the photo. I settle on cropping the photo.
The big part of this trip was trying as much local food as I could. I had Hungarian beef stew with a delicious duck liver spread. Never thought I'd have duck liver and enjoy it.
Locals made me aware that you're not Hungarian until you take a shot of Palinka.
I of course had to test it out. It tasted like rubbing alcohol and I had to wash the taste away with coke, but now I'm Hungarian.
Toured the Pest side of the city (the area of which I stayed) and visited the Hungarian Parliament, Soviet 2nd WW II memorial, St.Stephen's Basilica and a statue of Ronald Reagan (?!?).
76 Likes, 10 Comments - Brittny Pierre (@pierreintomylife) on Instagram: "Sights on the Pest side: *Parlamento Budapest *Vörösmarty tér * Budapest Eye *Soviet 2nd WW..."
I wish I had stayed a few more days to squeeze in a visit to a bath house and to experience the legendary Budapest nightlife.
However, overall I had a fantastic time visiting Eastern Europe-- cities I never thought I'd see in my life. And now I have the itch of figuring out where my next solo trip will take me. Maybe somewhere in South America, Asia, or South Africa. Any suggestions?
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#SummerofBrittny | August
It's officially fall but I haven't concluded #SummerofBrittny. This has been the first time I'm truly heartbroken that the seasons are changing because it ones of the best summers of my life. It was a summer of endless adventures, meeting new friends, creating memories with friends and family-- most of which I will never forget.
Here's the last run down of #SummerofBrittny
I went to the Bachelor audition that were held in Cleveland. My boss is a super fan and convinced me to try out. I personally believe I would have been an amazing addition to the show but during the audition, the producer I had my interview with was such a dull and that turned my energy down which probably made the casting directors believe I wasn't a great fit. Too bad, they missed out on a great gem. I mean, I just had dongs all over the world! How many contestants can say that?
I totally lied about my weight. There was no way they were going to get the real digits for that.
I finally tried the famous Sokolowski for the first time since I've moved here. It was AH MAZE ZING, but I needed to be rolled out of the restaurant because I was so stuffed.
Attended a Tribe game against the Yanks. I of course rooted for MY home team, the New York Yankees and wore my Aaron Judge jersey. Although the Yankees lost the first game of the series, I had an amazing time with my friend Sarah.
I launched this wonderful place, Pierre into My Life that has done incredibly well and brought so much joy into my life. I never thought so many people would enjoy this little safe space where I could write my thoughts, but I am thankful for those riding with me on this journey.
Danced and sang my little heart out at the Coldplay concert with my friend Joseph. My first time seeing them live and they have easily become a top 5 best show I have ever seen. Joseph and his brother, John, came from Columbus to have a weekend with me. #Blessed.
I stumbled upon Green Day having an altercation with a Browns fan on my way home. I walked into it shortly after it all started and I had headphones on so I missed what created the issues. All I know is the Browns fan told Green Day to get out of his city. What has Green Day ever done to Cleveland?
Attended She in the CLE's 2nd Anniversary and met other amazing Cleveland bloggers at the shindig. (My Jay Z piece was published on She in the CLE this month as well.) It was such a nice mixer to help celebrate an amazing platform for women. From left to right, me, Kate of Greatest Escapist, Brittney of According to Brittney, and Katie of Soul Connect Tribe.
I also lost 15 lbs this summer. Finally shedding some of the Midwest weight I've gained since moving out here. I was super proud of myself for the pounds I have lost and now I'm trying to gain a little more muscle for the winter.
Welp, it's time to say goodbye to the eventful #SummerofBrittny. Pour one out for the end of a great summer.
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#NoSausageLeftBehind
When I told my friends that not only would I spent two weeks in Europe but also as #SingleBrittny, all of them rejoiced. My one friend, Jack, even found the SNL skit "Dongs All Over the World" and declared it as my official vacation anthem. As I touched down in Prague, I re-opened my Tinder account (I have such a love-hate relationship with that app) and started exploring my options. However, after a few swipes, I encountered THIS in Prague. I just couldn't do it and never opened the app again during my stay.
Fast forward to Vienna and Budapest, I legit embodied the lyrics, "I'm a modern day Columbus and I claim this dong for me." I felt like a kid in a candy store with countless amounts of options. I knew it would be a success because the first song I heard when I arrived to Vienna was Britney Spears' "Hot As Ice."
By the end of my stay in Vienna and the last leg of my trip in Budapest, I was getting countless date offers on Tinder and in person. I ended up going on three dates in a row. I could have gone for four but I was mentally exhausted from men (don't you hate when they do that?).
Let's break down each man/date:
The Austrian Novelist
First off his Tinder was very mysterious, so obviously I swiped right because I'm the kind of person who is too impatient while reading a novel and cut to the end to see what happens. Even though we connected on Tinder, he had originally said he was unable to meet with me due to personal plans. But Saturday morning I got a message from him that stated: "What are the chances of meeting an attractive writer? I can't pass up that opportunity." *Heart eyes emoji.* So we set up a date.
I'm not into blondes, however the Novelist was a very tall and handsome and I was into it. We met at a really cute bar near to where I was staying. Automatically he received cool points for not judging me for ordering like a 7 year old, after several hours of not eating from my day trip to Salzburg. He introduced me to delicious Austrian red wine, we bonded over being writers and the constant struggle of being creative, and other random things ones discuss on a first date. He explained to me a clinic in Switzerland named Dignitas, where people pay to commit suicide. I was intrigued but confused as to why anyone would willingly pay to commit suicide when you can do it for free. Aside from the melancholy topic, we had great conversations and even hotter make out session in the rain after we shut down the bar. Afterwards, I was totally in lust over the Novelist but the next morning I was off to Budapest which meant on to the next one.
The Italian Lover
Oh how I adored the Italian. He was such an interesting character to hang out with for a few hours. Before we met, he immediately bombarded me with basketball knowledge after I told him I live in Cleveland and he told me I live in Lebronland (which is basically true). He was a huge fan of hip-hop and expressed how much he wanted to visit places in America where hip-hop is known for, especially Compton. I have never heard anyone say the one place they want to visit in America would be....COMPTON. We met for dinner at an Italian restaurant where I chowed down on bolognese and sipped on multiple glasses of Hungarian wine (I drank a lot of wine in Europe. I'm surprised they're not low on stock in Eastern Europe). We had a great discussion on the many differences between America and Europe like "why do we call a bill, a check?" and "why do you call salami pepperoni?" (fun fact, pepperoni in Italy is simply just peppers) I of course didn't have the answers for any of these questions.
Since I knew the Italian loved hip-hop, I had to ask who were his top 5 favorite rappers. His answer: 1. Tupac, 2. 50 Cent, 3. Nelly, 4. Chingy and I can't remember the fifth because I was still stuck on the fact he had Nelly and Chingy on his top 5 list. I forgave him for his odd list because he was so handsome. However I did have to mention before the night was over that I have never met anyone who had Nelly or Chingy in their top 5 which he found alarming. Is Nelly and Chingy a huge deal in Europe and we have no clue about it?
Southern (Not So) Charming
How I ended up meeting another American on my "Dongs All Over the World" is beyond me and actually I'm quite mad at myself. I can get an American any time I want, and a southern one at that. But we both wanted to check out Hungarian food and drinks together which made me accept the offer. That being said, he doesn't rank high like all the European men I had met prior to him. He wasn't that much interesting, our conversations were kind of dull and I was reaching to find interesting topics to discuss to the point that my brain went on low fuel. He picked a restaurant called "Getto Giulyas," which at first I low key felt offended he wanted to take me to a place called "getto," but it had great reviews on Google. To both of our surprises it was a romantic wine restaurant, which would have been perfect with anyone BUT him. We both ordered a beef stew and tried duck liver for the first time, both were amazing. Then later that night I tried a Hungarian must, a shot of Palinka which is an awful liquor that all Hungarians know is bad but are very proud of. They say you haven't had an Hungarian experience until you've had the shot. Well... I took the shot and was chasing coke cola for the rest of the night to get rid of the after taste. Even with the strong shot didn't make him more enjoyable. I had way more fun afterwards being drunk on Facebook live with my favorites in the Dome.
Then I returned back to America and realized that my love/hate relationship with Tinder really is just the quality of men on there. European men were so much more chivalrous, respectful, upfront of what they wanted, and had worldly experiences and knowledge. It was just a nice change compared to what I've experience with Tinder in Cleveland. But it was nice to date elsewhere and feel really good about myself for a few days.
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Stankonia in Cleveland
When I was about 9 years old, I used all my allowance money to purchase my first hip-hop album, OutKast's ATLiens. From that moment on, I have been a huge fan of OutKast, to the point where on even my Tinder profile I asked "Speakerboxxx or The Love Below?" as an ice breaker. I love Big Boi's lyrical flow and love Andre 3000's eclectic sense of style and rhyme scheme. Although I've been a fan for years, I have never had the chance to see them perform live.
Last night, I received free tickets to see 1/2 of OutKast, Big Boi performed at the House of Blues Cleveland. It was my first Monday back from vacation, I was drained from reading emails all day, and wasn't mentally prepared to attend a live concert, and then at 4 pm my friend Jackie and I decided to just go.
Big Boi performed a compilation of his solo material and OutKast's well known hits. The level of energy from the crowd, Big Boi and Sleepy Brown was nothing like I've seen before at the House of Blues Cleveland. I was beyond ecstatic that Big Boi performed most of my favorite Outkast tracks, including "Ghetto Musick," "Rosa Parks," and "International Players Anthem (I Choose You)" (which is essentially a UGK track.) I was disappointed he didn't perform "Elevators" or "SpottieOttieDopaliscious".
For a Manic Monday, Big Boi brought the ATL and nostalgia to Cleveland and it was perfect.
36 Likes, 8 Comments - Brittny Pierre (@pierreintomylife) on Instagram: "What @bodyworkculture and I thought would be a boring Monday night changed when @rickonia gave us..."
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Brittny Does Europe: Vienna + Salzburg
After my eventful time in Prague, it was off to Vienna, Austria. I embarked on a 4 1/2 hour train ride from Prague to Vienna, which I mostly slept on. I spent the first day being lazy and eating at a Lebanese/Italian restaurant. The following day I went on a walking tour of the city and saw what Vienna had to offer. During the tour, we saw Hofburg Palace which was the birthplace of Marie Antionette, Parliament, and their gorgeous National Library.
55 Likes, 6 Comments - Brittny Pierre (@pierreintomylife) on Instagram: "Enjoyed sight seeing in Vienna this morning, but my favorite part was an older Dutch lady saying to..."
I went on a day trip to Salzburg which was about 3 hours west of Vienna. I wish I took pictures of the rest stop restaurant we stopped at because it looked like an euro Cracker Barrel which I didn't even know was humanly possible. Also, no one told me Salzburg would be hella cold and rainy compared to the nice weather in Vienna. With just a sweatshirt to keep me warm, I was cold and damp for most of the day.
While in Salzburg, I visited where Mozart lived. His childhood home was a small little museum that showed sheet music he composed, his pianos he had over the years, love letters he sent his wife and other cool things he owned during his lifetime. I can't say I'm well versed in Mozart's music other than his famous songs, but Amadeus is one of my favorite movies (which was filmed in Prague and I saw some of the filming locations while on my Prague city tour). There was a second home over the little river where Mozart's family lived once he made money for the family to afford a bigger place to live. However, the building is a replica as the original was destroyed during World War II.
76 Likes, 9 Comments - Brittny Pierre (@pierreintomylife) on Instagram: "Salzburg, the birthplace of one of the greatest musicians of all time, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. . ...."
Salzburg is also well known for the Von Trapp home and is where many of the iconic scenes of the Sound of Music were filmed. Unfortunately, I didn't see their home but did visit most of the filming locations of the Sound of Music. I have so many fond memories of watching the film and Broadway show with my family growing up that it was surreal to walk the same paths as Julie Andrews. The only time I wish I wasn't alone on my trip was this time so I could have reenacted the "Do Re Mi" scene on the steps.
80 Likes, 11 Comments - Brittny Pierre (@pierreintomylife) on Instagram: "doe, a deer, a female deer ray, a drop of golden sun me, a name I call myself I was so excited to..."
One of my favorite moments was this sweet Dutch lady telling me, "You have a special President in America," she said. "I just loved Barack and Michelle Obama, I really miss them." GIRL, me too!
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Brittny Does Europe: Prague
Last year on a whim, I decided to purchase a cheap round trip ticket and traveled to Amsterdam, Paris and Brussels on my own. It was freeing, and liberating to be able to travel to several countries on my own, not knowing the native languages, and to figure it out all on my own. I enjoyed it so much, I decided to take another solo trip and visit some more new countries I've never been to before. Since last Saturday, I've been touring Eastern Europe and seeing part of the world I never thought I'd see. Aside from traveling and broadening my horizons, this trip was to self reflect, and understand the woman I am becoming in my thirties. But enough of that sappy stuff, let's see what I did at my first stop, Prague, Czech Republic.
The moment I stepped out of the train station into Prague, I was amazed by the architecture. The buildings were stunning and meticulous with how they were structured, every detail creating such gorgeous architecture that was simply breathtaking. I'm such an American that seeing such gorgeous, old style buildings resembled something almost unreal to me; I had stepped into Disney World, where they have fantasy buildings and sets to make you believe you're in New York City in the 1920's.
95 Likes, 21 Comments - Brittny Pierre (@pierreintomylife) on Instagram: "Architect"
Aside from roaming around the city and understanding my "home" for a few days, I did some shopping. I couldn't help myself, especially since there were two malls near where I was staying. The most important item I purchased was an Adidas sweatshirt which was highly needed during the evening. My bomber jacket wasn't going to keep me warm with the low 60 degree temperatures at night.
During my second day, I toured the old and new city of Prague, where I saw most of the Prague Castle and the famous Charles Bridge.
74 Likes, 17 Comments - Brittny Pierre (@pierreintomylife) on Instagram: "Toured old and "new" town Prague. Stunning! . . . . . . . #clevelandblogger #travelgirl #travelgram..."
I even had my own Britney Spears "Slave 4 U" moment with a yellow python. It was cute and fun at first, but then the head started getting closer to my face and all I could think about was the movie Anaconda and how my life could come to an end at any moment. (mind you, there was also a giant snake behind me as well.) It was quite possible.
My last full day in Prague I went to the Museum Kampa which had an Manolo Blahnik exhibit, showing off some of his most iconic shoes, drawings, and even some costumes from the film Marie Antoinette, which he was the head shoe designer for. I had died and gone to shoe heaven. I felt I was finally becoming Carrie Bradshaw, I couldn't take home all the fabulous shoes, but at least I was in the same proximity of them.
75 Likes, 8 Comments - Brittny Pierre (@pierreintomylife) on Instagram: "I visited the Museum of Kampa for the Manolo Blahník exhibit. I could have gone to a museum to..."
As a big Beatles fan, I visited the John Lennon Wall, a long wall with graffiti drawings and words inspired by love, peace, and happiness. With the current political climate in America, it was nice to escape the madness and take in some positivity, and sing joyous songs with complete strangers. (Shout out to my Kate Spade purse that found its way into most of my pics.)
102 Likes, 11 Comments - Brittny Pierre (@pierreintomylife) on Instagram: "I visited the John Lennon wall where the graffiti is all inspired by the Beatles, peace, and love...."
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Girl Talk Vol 1: Breakups
August was an interesting month for those who are into astrology. Not only did we experience a solar eclipse but it also happened during the mercury being in retrograde. If the last few weeks you’ve been experiencing a lot of miscommunication, you are not alone and it’s probably because of the power of the planets. During this planetary alignment is when a lot of relationships fall apart (so they say), and I thought for the first installment of the Girl Talk series, we could discuss breakups. I gathered my girl squad to open up about their toughest breakups, how they handle their own heartbreaks, and the best advice they can offer to Pierre into My Life. The Girl Talk series is where I bring ladies together to discuss an array of topics and share their experiences. One of my favorite college professors told us, “The greatest agency a woman has is to share her story with other women.” I always remembered that quote and wanted to one day create a space where women could share their stories, which became the birth of Girl Talk.
Pour yourself a glass a wine and let's dig into this discussion.
What’s your toughest breakup you have experienced?
“My first break up experience was easily my worst. I'd always feared that I would never be desirable to another and to have those fears 'realized' made the ground under me just crumble. The feeling of inadequacy made me think that I could never measure up to anyone in someone's past. It was just a perfect storm of low self esteem on my end and emotional abuse (that I didn't recognize until later) on his end.” – Suz
"It happened about 2 years ago. It wasn't even my longest relationship by any means but I was completely unprepared and the breakup was a shock. We had been dating for about 5 months and everything was going really well. We had a great emotional connection and physically it was amazing (for him as well as for me), but then he went away for a weekend and something just changed. He didn't respond to texts as quickly and didn't answer the phone. I tried not to worry and tried to just back off figuring he was busy on his boys trip and I didn't want to be "that girl" that was needy and annoying. I also went by the "everything is fine until I am told otherwise" motto, which turned out to be dumb. He got back into town and still there was not a lot of communication and he cancelled plans last minute for a date night. Finally a couple nights after he got back he came over to pick me up for dinner, he walked in the door, kissed me and we went to sit on the couch and have a glass of wine before leaving. I snuggled up to him and told him I missed him and he got quiet. He asked if I was ready to go to dinner and I told him I wanted to talk and make sure we are on same page going forward (meaning I wanted a relationship with him and wanted to hear from him the same).
Him: Well I just think there is something missing and I don't want to force anything. I think you are great but there is just something missing. I don't want to force it.
Me: Ok..... thank you for your honesty and I really liked you and I do wish you well.
Him: I don't want to force anything, and something is just missing.
So he kissed me on the cheek and walked out the door.
A couple months go by and he got a new girlfriend and they got serious quickly. I guess nothing was missing and it wasn't "forced" because they are in love and everything is just amazing for them." - Sarah
“Definitely my first breakup. I was 17, dating this really popular, cool, incredibly smart Senior when I was a Junior. He got accepted into Dartmouth and dumped me on his graduation day. I made this gift for him where I got letters from all his friends and family, and placed them in a box with an Ansel Adams road print image that I placed on it. I got all pretty and waited at my house for him to pick me up and he took hours, then he drove me to this park and broke up with me. My parents loved him, too, because he was in my youth group and basically perfect, so they couldn't believe that he could be an insensitive jerk. As cliche as it is, the first time really is the worst!” – Rachel
“The recent one was the hardest so far but mainly because I felt it had ended hastily and felt very unfinished. I had a lot of anger and resentment towards the other person. I had invested a lot into that relationship and I felt like it had been tossed out the window.’ – Natalia
“The toughest breakup I have ever experienced was with my high school boyfriend. When we went to college we stayed together for a semester and then he decided to take a semester off of school and go live in the woods. Since he didn't have a phone we had to resort to letter writing. We kind of broke up before he left and I stopped writing him because I was trying to move on. His mom then called me and asked me to write because he was so worried about me. I wrote to him and kind of fell back into the relationship and was planning a welcome home party with all of his friends at my house for his return and then the day before he got back I received a letter from him dumping me. He then proceeded to immediately start dating a girl from two grades below me who was the freaking worst and he told her that I had never loved him which then spread through the town and got back to me. This ended up being a blessing in disguise because while he was living the woods life he stopped believing in deodorant and like clocks. The resounding image I have of the breakup in my head is opening a letter on my front porch and reading it and then just lying there crying my eyes out. I found out later that when I wrote him my last few letters, which were extremely personal and intimate, he would sometimes read them aloud to the whole group he was camping with and ask for advice. He really is a nut and I didn't see him for years until my five-year high school reunion and he has a full mountain man beard and long hair and he said we should catch up sometime and have coffee which I would be totally down for because I will always have a soft spot for him. I Facebook messaged him to try to make it happen and he didn't respond which is kind of classic.” – Austin
“After a decade of dealing with fuckbois and dating games it's easy to forget how heartbreaking it is to lose your first love. Due to strict parents and no interest in dating, my first boyfriend came at the ripe old age of 19 (I also discovered vodka around the same time which does not mix well with first love). We had an extremely toxic relationship with me being verbally & mentally abusive and him returning the favor by lying and cheating. Even with our unhealthy dynamic, I was completely caught off guard when he broke up with me. It unlocked some dark abandonment issues and I ended up going on an all-inclusive trip to the psych ward. I had no coping mechanism in place to process the pain I was feeling, no hobbies to retreat to and shut out the world, and no dating history to build up to this monumental heartbreak. But I did have a Lindsay. She marched into the hospital loaded with Taco Bell and immediately began begging the nurses to let her spend the night in the psych ward. They had never gotten that request before. That first night she made me laugh so hard I cried which is quite the feat considering I was surrounded by the scariest cast of characters you can imagine and shaking with fear. Every evening when visiting hours began she was the first one there and the last to leave. She let me stay with her when I got out and devoted every moment to my well-being. She took me on walks and made me talk about difficult subjects when I didn't even want to talk about the weather. She made me dress up and go clubbing when I could barely brush my teeth. She brought me to church at a time I hated God. When she got worn out from my self-pity we would watch serial killer documentaries - it's hard to complain after watching one. I grew stronger and stronger but it wasn't because of medication, exercise, a hobby, or even my own doing. It was Lindsay. Life is so hard and so cruel, everybody needs a Lindsay for the darkest of days.” – Liz
How do you cope when you’re going through a breakup?
“I try and spend time with myself and really become in tune with my mind and my body. I give myself time to go through all the emotions one goes through during a breakup, the tears, the anger, the sadness, the loneliness…all of these emotions are important and you should allow yourself to go through them. After I feel I am getting back to my old self, I begin to go out with my friends, treat myself to massages, manicure and pedicures, see a movie alone etc. It’s important for me to try and keep my mental health on track, which means I try to attend as many therapy sessions I can afford, also talk with God and attend church. Exercise was a great way to get my frustration out and to feel better about myself.” – Brittny
“Try to keep as busy as possible (even wanting to work more), lean on my friends for support. Exercise more. Sometimes obsess about the things said or done in the relationship, ruminate, get angry. Talk to myself in my head about it (I become my own therapist 😩)" -Natalia
“Go on a Netflix binge. Get a haircut, get your nails done, talk to your friends. Talk to someone on a therapy app (like 7 cups of tea). I always think about the activities I WANTED to do with him and just found some girlfriends or family members to do it with instead. You own your life, he doesn't (obviously my answers are going to be based on a heterosexual pov).” – Suz
“I actually isolate myself quite a bit because I don't want to cry in front of people and I don't want to be "that girl" who can't get over someone. I watch movies and TV, I eat whatever I want and I don't make plans because I can't control my emotions and if someone asks me about the breakup I fall apart. I have gotten better about not worrying that I am "that girl" because maybe I am and it's okay. Once I find the right guy I won't be so terrified to be "that girl" because he will respond and want to spend time with me as much as I want to spend time with him. I don't want to play games and pretend I don't care when I actually care quite a bit.” –Sarah
"I take time to grieve but after a few mopey weekends watching Netflix, eating some bad food and going to boozy brunches with friends, I reestablish what I want. In my last breakup, I did all these things for about a month and then I got back on dating sites. I got my hair done, new clothes, worked out, read empowering non fiction memoirs (I love Julie Klausner's I Don't Care About Your Band), listened to new music, whatever made myself feel like my best self and then just threw myself into dating again. I've been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years now and he meets all the qualities I wrote down on my list of what I wanted in a partner.” – Rachel
What’s the best advice to give to readers of Pierre into My Life who might be going through a breakup?
“Treat it like a death. Allow yourself to grieve and go through the steps. Don't bottle up your feelings but allow yourself to feel entirely. If this means crumbling into a ball and crying yourself into a frenzy do it. This doesn't mean to wallow but you have to give yourself time to heal. All I wanted to do was skip to the end of this and "feel better" but I couldn't do that without letting my feelings out.” – Suz
“My advice is focus on yourself and self care. What do you want out of your next relationship? What did you not like about the previous partner? Make a list of qualities you want in a new partner. I think that writing those qualities down and also the ones you do not want is very helpful. My mom is recently remarried and she did this. Her new husband is basically all of the things she wanted.” – Rachel
“Going through a breakup reminds me a lot of the process of grieving (denial, anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance). You mourn the life of a relationship as opposed to the life of a person. You have to go through the process and not skip steps or you'll be held back from fully moving forward.” – Natalia
“You don't want to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't want to be in a relationship with you. You deserve someone who wants you and now you have learned more about what you want and what you don't want.” – Sarah
“First off, delete them from all social media. Delete their number, their text threads--delete, delete, delete. I call it spring cleaning. Get all the junk out of your life. Everything takes time. Don’t beat yourself up if it’s taking longer than you had intended. Remember to treat yourself well and find the best way to stay afloat. This is also a great time to renew yourself, try new hobbies, check out a new restaurant, travel etc. Most importantly make sure to find the best partner for you in the next relationship.” – Brittny
“Try to remember who you are at your core and stand strong in that. Listen to your gut.”- Erika
What are your thoughts on breakups? What's the best way to get over someone? Drop a line in the comments
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IT'S BEYONCÉ'S BIRTHDAY!
Photo Courtesy: Getty Images
Today is a national holiday because it is the day Beyonce Giselle Knowles Carter was brought into the world. We have been blessed with such an extraordinary talent who has sacrificed her life for our entertainment and sins. Today we celebrate her legacy!
Below is my all-time favorite Beyoncé performance.
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Transatlantic Playlist + Podcasts Recommendations
Is it just me or is summer flying by. Or maybe I’m just having way too much for, but whatever it may be, I am nowhere near ready to embark my trip to solo dolo trip overseas. I swear it felt like it would be forever from now but as the days creep up, I’m wondering where time went. If you haven’t noticed, I’m a huge music love and have a huge passion sharing playlists. If you’re ever looking for a playlist, I’m the girl for you. I create a playlist for everything, when I need time to unwind, songs to block out loud colleagues when I’m trying to focus, the soundtrack to be my runway tunes aka songs I strut to when I’m walking around Cleveland, OH. Of course, I created a playlist not only for myself but for my fellow travelers. I prefer to compile chill out tunes to help me relax while flying but also help with my anxiety. I will also share a few podcasts that I’ve been listening to that you can add to your queue while you’re at your layover.
Here are 3 tracks to maybe persuade you into checking out my playlist
Don’t Touch My Hair | Solange
A Seat at the Table really resonated with me on so many levels, as being a proud black woman and as someone trying to figure out who I am. “Don’t Touch My Hair” is the first song to lyrically explain how important my hair means to me, especially hearing it from another black woman with natural hair.
Maiden Voyage/ Everything In Its Right Place | Robert Glasper
This isn’t your mama’s jazz music. Robert infuses hip-hop over smooth jazz melodies. Robert beautifully covers Radiohead’s “Everything In Its Right Place’.
Tsunami | Katy Perry
I know it’s popular to hate on Katy Perry at the moment but there are some decent tracks on Witness. If you can overlook that it’s another Katy song that uses metaphors for sex and silly cliché lyrics, “Tsunami” is a stand out track for Perry.
Podcasts I’m Currently Subscribed To
Bitch Sesh
Hosted by Real Housewives enthusiasts Casey Wilson and Danielle Schneider. The duo gives a hilarious take on the latest episodes of the Housewives but also share equally hilarious stories from their personal lives. Bitch Sesh was my introduction into listening to podcast but it also changed my life. One day I will open up about how special this podcast means to me on a personal level.
You can listen here
Watch What Crappens
Everyone who knows me, knows I’m obsessed with all things Housewives and housewives adjacent shows to the point my TV is always on Bravo. Watch What Crappens can be difficult to get into with all the different imitations the hosts does and inside jokes, but once you get it, it’s hilarious. So many times I’ve listened to the episodes on a flight and bust out laughing and immediately embarrass myself.
You can listen here
Still Processing
As much as I love listening to Housewives recaps, I sometimes feel like it could potentially lower my IQ. Which is why I started seeking more intellect podcasts. Two NYT culture writers Jenna Wortham and Wesley Morris dissect the hottest topics from the week that was discussing politics and pop culture. Jenna and Wesley will passionately discuss how the Charlotteville protests personally affected them but also giddily discuss all things Beyoncé.
You can listen here
You Must Remember This
Katrina Longworth beautifully explores the lives of old Hollywood biggest stars and scandals. Recently she shares the parallels of actresses Jane Fonda and Jean Seberg in nine episodes. If you’re a movie buff or love the allure of old Hollywood, this is the perfect podcast for you.
You can listen here
Bodega Boys
Desus and Mero are the only thing helping me cope with the current political climate. The Bronx duo always find humor in all the craziness this country is experiencing which also reminds you how incredibly ridiculous we must look to other countries but also it’s okay to laugh through the pain. Plus, listening to them reminds me so much of being back home in New York City.
You can listen here
What podcasts are you listening to?
Check out my Transatlantic playlist below. Enjoy!
Featured
See the World On A Budget
Photo Courtesy: Pexels
Traveling has always been a part of my life. Fortunately, my family has made an effort to travel (most of the time) to a new place every year together and has been our tradition since I was a little kid. As I have grown older, I have taken the time to travel without my family to see different places I’ve always wanted to see. The most common question I receive is “how can you afford it?” Yes, traveling can sometimes be very expensive and seen to many as a luxury but it doesn’t have to be that way. I am a budgetista when it comes to travel and love to find the cheapest way see a new city. I reached out to travel agent, Rebecca Mitchell, to give Pierre into My Life’s readers some tips to be able to be a global trotter on a budget.
Flexibility Is Hot
“Be willing to travel during the less busy months. September and May are great for this because the weather is pretty similar to the summer months, but you'll find better deals. Also, be willing to travel Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. The savings on both airfare and lodging can be significant.”
Alternative Lodging Ideas
“Luxury can wait, unless you intend to just stay and enjoy the amenities at your hotel, you don't need to stay in luxurious comfort. Try an Airbnb or a nice hotel that has free breakfast. You can visit those luxurious hotels and Snap and Instagram from the lobby or bar. No one will ever know.”
Snack on the Go
“Snack like you're in kindergarten - instead of going out for each meal, snack as you tour around. You'll get to sample more of the local culture this way and save money.”
Seek out a Professional Planner
“Use a travel agent - sure, you can research and do everything yourself, but why not have someone with experience take care of those details for you? Travel agents are paid by the travel partners they represent, so it does not cost you any more to use a travel agent than it would if you book it yourself. Plus, you'll have an expert in your corner from the planning stages through your trip.”
Use Your ‘Rents As An Excuse To Travel
“Get someone else to pay for it - no, really. Multigenerational travel is the hottest trend in travel right now. Encourage your parents to take that big trip they've been talking about. They fulfill their desire for family time and you'll get a free trip, win/win.”
Rebecca Mitchell is a Travel Agent with FTM Travel and is always looking for her next adventure. She specializes in Disney Destinations, but she can help you with any destination around the world and would love to turn your vacation dreams into your dream vacation. You can get in touch with her via Facebook.
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Happy Birthday, Michael Jackson!
Today would have been the King of Pop, Michael Jackson’s 59th birthday. The son of Katherine and Joe Jackson, Michael was the eighth of ten children and born in Gary, Indiana. Michael made his musical career debut in 1964 as a member of the Jackson 5. His career has spanned over four decades and has sold over 300 million records. Michael went on to global domination as one of greatest entertainers of all-time.
Personally, Michael Jackson is the first musical artist I connected with. My entire family loved MJ. My older sister owned his doll, trading cards, posters, and pins. One of my parents earliest dates was attending a concert of the Jackson 5 at the Apollo Theater in Harlem. Needless to say there was no escaping a love for Michael Jackson. My earliest memories of Michael Jackson was watching his short film, "Moonwalker," religiously everyday after school. I practiced every music video’s choreography, including "Smooth Criminal" where I almost busted my knee on my grandparents’ coffee table trying to imitate the infamous lean.
To me, Michael Jackson was the ideal of what a pop star should embodied. Multiple catchy tunes, insane dance moves, visually stunning music videos, and most importantly, providing magic on stage. He had it all. For many music lovers he was everything. He will live on through his music for future generations and inspire countless of artists to come.
Thank you for everything, Michael!
Remember the Time
Michael pulled out all the stops for this video. Remember when I said a pop star should bring magic? MJ disappearing into gold dust is that!
Bad
Michael wrote “Bad” with Prince in mind for an epic duet. Prince backed out because he didn’t want to sing “your butt is mine”.
Scream
Michael + Janet = major epicness
What are your favorite Michael Jackson song?
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#SummerofBrittny | July Roundup
In June's roundup I explained how and why I decided to declare this summer as the #SummeofBrittny. Here are some of my favorite moments throughout the month of July!
Bienvenidos a Miami
After weeks of just Netflix and Chill at the end of June, I decided on a whim to visit my friend Natalia in Miami for the forth of July weekend and it was the best decision ever.
The food. The weather. The company! All worth it.
Art Wonderland
Natalia took me to Wynwood, the art district in Miami. Everywhere you looked was covered in beautiful artwork.
Trap Karaoke
"TRAP Karaoke is like going to church…but instead of 'Amazing Grace,' you’re singing ‘Back That Azz Up.'" - anonymous. There is no other way to describe the experience of Trap Karaoke. My girlfriends and I watched several Clevelanders get on stage and rap like they were 2 Chainz and we had the time of our lives.
Girls Trip
You couldn't go through the month of July and not gather your girl squad to see the hilarious film Girl Trip. We laughed until we cried, we swooned over Malik, and cried over Ryan's keynote speech. Truly a special moment with your girlfriends.
Featured
The Most Unforgettable Fashion Moments in VMA History
Photo Courtesy: MTV
This Sunday, the most exciting music award show, MTV’s Video Music Awards will air. At the VMA's, all of the genre’s biggest stars, reality stars, and z-listers collide, which leads to the unexpected. The fashion is always wacky, and someone is bound to cause a feud leading to some of the most memorable musical performances. Since its airing back in 1984, fashion has been a major staple for the award show, from the assless jumpsuit Prince wore during his performance of “Get Off” to Madonna’s infamous wedding dress with the “boy toy” belt. Let’s strut down memory lane, and round up some of the VMA’s most unforgettable fashions.
1. Rose McGowan
Photo Courtesy: Wire Image
Rose McGowan shocked the world when she showed up with Marilyn Manson while wearing a see through mesh dress that revealed basically everything. The dress was made of entirely out of intricate beads.
2. Lil’ Kim
Photo Courtesy: MTV
Lil’ Kim was never one afraid to show off her body, but somehow her lavender jumpsuit is still one of the most talked about ensembles at the VMA’s. It might be because one of her boobs was out for display with just a simple lavender pasty. Later that night her outfit was so shocking that Diana Ross needed to bounce Lil’ Kim’s boob.
3. Jennifer Lopez
Photo Courtesy: MTV
J.Lo’s look at the 200 VMA’s is the most “Jenny from the Block” look she has ever worn. Rocking all white, with rhinestones everywhere from her belt, to her bandana, to her Sean Jean crop top, and even her belly button art. I’m sure you could walk around the South Bronx right now and find someone rocking the exact same outfit.
4. Gwen Stefani
Photo Courtesy: MTV
Was the American flag inspired by this look? I think so. Gwen rocked a sequined red and white halter top with blue culottes in toe with “Rock Steady” brass knuckles.
5. Christina Aguilera
Photo Courtesy: VMA
X-Tina if you’re nasty showed up to the VMA’s in classic early 2000’s fashion; extremely short jean skirt with an insanely unnecessary belt, a cloth to cover her boobs just enough (I never rocked that style but I’m sure one of my readers has tried to pull of this look), ratty multi colored hair, and a newsboy cap. Even though her “Dirrrty” era is her most iconic, aren’t we glad she got her fashion together?
6. Whitney Houston and Mariah Carey
Photo Courtesy: New York Daily News
For years, there were countless rumors that Mariah and Whitney didn’t get along, but the two killed those rumors when they put their mega voices together for the song “When You Believe.” With their fun personalities, they wanted to play off the rumors, and showed up to the VMA's with the same dresses….sort of; Both divas ripped off part of the others dress for an epic dress off.
7. Katy Perry and Riff Raff
Photo Courtesy: Hollywood Reporter
Aside from their bubble gum romance, when you think of Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake, you think of their matching denim outfits. At the 2014 VMA's, in classic Katy Perry style, she showed up together with Riff Raff, wearing matching outfits paying tribute to the iconic denim look.
8. Macy Gray
Photo Courtesy: New York Daily News
Before Instagram and Twitter, musicians had to get creative to promote their albums. Macy took it upon herself to promote it at the biggest event of the year by wearing it. She wore a blue and pink gown with the writing "MY NEW ALBUM DROPS SEPT. 18 2001" and on the back side "BUY IT!"
9. Nicki Minaj
Photo Courtesy: MTV
Nick Minaj sporting all of Lady Gaga’s used costumes from The Fame era.
10. Lady Gaga
Photo Courtesy: MTV
My favorite Lady Gaga VMA look is her Alexander McQueen gown with a gold feathered Philip Tracey hat. Gaga looked like an oil painting that should be held at the Louvre.
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I know 2021 will be slightly better because of this.